Bittersweet Symphony's
by Quarantine.Wings
Summary: The story following Kyouka Kuze - From the moment she met the man she loved - to when she has her children and after. (Previously Kuze Family)
1. Our Fates Entwine

I went to reading about the Kuze family – mainly, the relationship developed between Kyouka and Akitio – And her son and daughter Kaname and Amane. So this will be a fanfiction from her point of view from when she met the man she loved and had her first son, Kaname, who she had to send away, then later when she has Amane. And if you guys like this then some thoughts of hers when the ritual fails for Reika and she becomes a ghost.

This first chapter isn't very good (At least in my opinion) and a tad sort. I'm not too good at introductions or endings. But I'm hoping to turn this into a story!

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I smiled at my mother. It wasn't a sincere one but I tried. This was my duty within the mansion. I'm her only daughter and have to produce female heirs to follow in our footsteps. She led me to my room and I bowed respectively. She was to bring a man here so that I may become pregnant. The snow left a chill inside the mansion. Somehow warmth could be maintained in this large place, and I longed to go out into that snow. I rarely left this room. Not that I couldn't, I often just chose not to. Everyone here was so serious in their duties that they hardly socialized. That or they were planned sacrifices that were to remain untouched by emotional connections. It was a life I wouldn't choose if given the option.

I kneeled on the cushion before my mirror and stared at my reflection. I was neither unhappy nor displeased with my appearance. I didn't feel particularly vain either. I shifted some contents on the already organized desk around. I hid it very well but I was impatient and unnerved. My mother did choose handsome and attractive suitors. Still, it was heavy to watch them leave while I remained here in this place.

'_It's for the best.' _I chided myself. Now was not the time to be daydreaming. A knock from one of the doors had me standing quickly and I went to the door. My mother entered a moment later. I knew a man would be behind her and bowed quickly.

"Thank you for coming." I murmured, my voice barely above a whisper, and stood to greet the man that would be my partner. We'd be together most of the time until the snow melted and he'd have to leave.

I didn't expect him to be so attractive. His hair was dark and beautiful, his form slim and fit, and his eyes spoke volumes of his emotions. To my embarrassment a small gasp escaped my lips and I quickly shut my mouth. He smiled just the tiniest bit. He seemed pleased by this. I felt suddenly self-conscious in my attire even though it was my best kimono.

My mother, Yashuu, cleared her throat and bowed to us both. She would scold me later for not acting proper and letting my demeanor slip. She was very stern and followed rules without question.

"Please enjoy your stay. I hope you find everything you need for your research." With that she left the man and myself alone. I did my best not to smile at her words. To outsiders, men came in to gain information on what they could grab onto, or to etch their pain into the next priestess. Few came to participate in producing the next heir.

"It's a pleasure to me you." He spoke and his voice sounded more beautiful than I could ever imagine." I am Akito Kashigawa. " He bowed once more, a hidden smile on his lips.

"I am Kyouka Kuze. The pleasure is mine." I smiled and bowed back, gesturing towards the cushions lined behind a screen. "Please make yourself comfortable. I do hope you enjoy your stay here." His expression was sweet, a bag gracing his right shoulder looking filled to the rbim.

He caught me eyeing it and reached for it. I was curious, to say the least, when he pulled out a camera. He met my eyes and smiled at me, raising the camera up in a questioning gesture. "May I?"

My face heated. No one has ever asked for a picture of me before. I felt so…flattered. His intentions were so pure, and he was so truthful about it that I could only nod. A flash blinded me temporarily and he set the camera down. Breaking the ice was indeed the hardest part of this. It always started off with such an awkward grace that I begged to stop. I felt bold and shifted closer to Akito. I wanted to be near him.

"Is there anything you are curious about?" I murmured gently, enjoying the feeling that ran through me when I was near him.

"…I'm actually very interested in learning about your traditions here. And the roles everyone partakes. So long as that is alright?" He seemed unsure and I found it incredibly sweet, the look on his face sending shivers flying across my skin. I already knew I was becoming too attached to him.

"I can't tell you certain things. " I spoke softly capturing his gaze with my own. "I can however, tell you some things." Akito smiled at this. His curiosity was not lost on me and I found it so refreshing and new. He took my hand in his, and before I had realized it myself, I knew I had fallen in love with him.


	2. As we Sing this Lullaby

Fighter1106 – Yeah, I had to look into it more before I started writing to get everything straight. Amane's father was just a man who came into the shrine and impregnated Kyouka. No one knows who he is as far as I've known.

And here is the next chapter! I really hope you guys like it, I'm actually getting pretty into it myself and hope I have all the details right! I'm new to writing romance so I hope it's good, and the tension building between them isn't too fast or slow.

I'm debating attempting a lemon, or slight lemon, of when they finally consummate their love and Kyouka gets pregnant. Or just skipping over it with hints. I've never done a seen passed kissing so it would take a bit longer than usual. But if you want me to I'd be willing to try.

Ayako Kuze is my own made up character, since no other handmaidens were known besides the main four in the game. So, yeah. Completely my OC.

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I showed Akito around the large building, enjoying the astonished look he gave when he saw something surprising. I do admit I had to suppress a chuckle a few times. I found myself becoming bolder with him as well. He was so sweet, so curious in everything, and took many pictures with his camera. He was incredibly interested in the Shrine Maidens. He asked if he could meet them.

"Of course, but you mustn't distract them. They need to focus on their duties until the time comes."

"Until the times comes?" He raised a curious brow and I shook my head. "I shall explain it at another time. Come." I glided across the wooden floor. It had been a few days since he had arrived and I hadn't even showed him a quarter of this large place. There were so many rooms one could get lost in it for days, I was sure. He followed quietly, and we occasionally ran across a person two, before we came across the courtyard. It was a large wooden structure; a tree stood tall in the middle with dolls impaled to it at random points. Snow fell from the gray masses above and made the world seem a bit more beautiful. If the staked dolls bothered Akito he didn't show it. He simply stared and bit his lip, his forehead wrinkling as he thought.

I couldn't help but smile shyly at this, thinking how lovely he looked no matter what he did. Before I could think it through I ran a hand over the wrinkles on his forehead, to which they quickly subsided and surprise fell into his expression instead, his eyes locking onto mine. I fell into his gaze, my heart stuttering beneath my darkened kimono and ran my hand along his cheek, tracing down his jawline. A shuddering breath escape from his lips and he lifted his hand as well, caressing my black hair that hung plain. "If you make expressions like that you'll have permanent lines in your face." I breathed lightly. I felt a shudder but not from the cold. His eyes filled with an emotion I couldn't place, something I wasn't familiar with, but I felt myself loving the way it made me feel. No one has ever looked at me with that strange look in their eyes. Like they wanted me. He chuckled, strange sounding from how his laughs usually sounded and shrugged. "I'm not worried about wrinkles." His hand hesitated near my ear, tugging gently on a lock of my hair. "Your hair is beautiful, Kyouka." He tucked it behind my ear, brushing it back with a loving look in his eyes. "I've never seen a soul with hair as beautiful as yours." I, again, felt the urge to suddenly dress it up for him. Place lovely jewels of different shades in the ink colored mass that was my hair, and wait for him to gently caress it again.

Then just like that the moment was gone, a silent tensions hovering above us in the air. I felt awkward and took a step back and smiled, indicating the doll-covered item towering in the center of the garden. I pretended not to notice the disappointed haze that filled Akito's eyes. I never felt this sort of tension before and vaguely wondered what it meant.

"This is the spirit tree. It is very sacred to us and is very important to this mansion." I bowed towards the standing structure and out of the corner of my eye, I could see him follow suit. I approved highly of his actions. He didn't question anything like many of the other men before him. They asked so much it caused a dull ache in my head. I always felt rude for thinking such things and dealt with their questions quickly. The branches of the tree were pointy and sharp against the sky, pieces of snow falling gently against my face.

A lullaby swam through and met my ears, the sound of a young girl singing from somewhere nearby. I was all too familiar with that song, and have found myself singing it a few times when lost in thought. The song was to lull the priestess into a sleep and I could see why. The way the handmaidens sang it, the way it sank into your head. I often sung it to myself on nights I couldn't sleep. It relaxed everything and sent you into a deep, deep sleep. Mother would tell me it was fine to listen, so long as you did not follow that singing in your dreams, lest it lead you to danger.

"That song…I've heard it before, but never so clearly." Akito spoke in awe. I gazed at him with gentle eyes and smiled. I was a bit surprised, yet at the same time not, to hear that he had heard it before. I stayed in this place my whole life and never left, so I kept becoming surprised when I heard people lay outside this large mansion. A small sorrow always filled me. Mother refused to let me leave, saying it wasn't our way and that I was very privileged compared to lives that sat outside this house.

"You could say it's our song. It's sung for the priestess so that when the time comes for her to rest, it will be calm and undisturbed."

Though it was not a secret of what the priestess did, it was spoken of softly. When it was brought up it was in a hushed and quiet tone, like when talking in a soothing voice to a lover. My cheeks reddened slightly at that last sentence. Akito and I were to bond for these few days. Then he'd be brought to me in my room at night so we may begin the process of producing a female heir. I silently thanked my mother for allowing time to get to know each other before becoming so intimate. I could go through this many times but I'd still feel my cheeks reddening from the thought of becoming so close to someone. My heart skipped a little every time.

I turned quickly to hide my nervous face and went towards a walkway, beckoning Akito to follow.

"We have four pacifiers. Another name you will hear them be called, though rare, are handmaidens. There are four of them. They each stand for the cardinal directions and are the priestess's main care takers. They see that she is taken care of while going through with the ceremony." I purposefully avoided the subject of the ceremony. I'd rather say too little rather than too much.

The song had grown louder as we rounded a corner, a soft voice singing coming from inside a small door. "This is one of their rooms. They each have their own, and when not with the priestess they are usually in here." A small thud was heard from inside. I stared at the door quietly, not quite remembering the name of the four girls. I've only seen one of them and the rest were often busy so I knew very little. The thudding of course probably sounded strange to Akito's ears. Again, I had to get use to the fact that others might find this ritual we do a bit alarming. "The ritual is a very serious one and has to be performed properly. So the pacifiers often practice in their rooms when not with the priestess. They stake dolls to the walls as a form of their practice." The singing grew louder and fell in unison with the thudding. Akito seemed to understand that we needed to wait and not interrupt what the young girl inside was doing.

"_Sleep, priestess, lie in sleep,"_

Thud.

"_Sleep priestess, lie in sleep,"_

Thud.

The rest continued on with humming, the sound of the girls voice surprisingly soothing. It was no wonder she was one chosen to impale the priestess.

"That song…" Akito spoke and stared at the door then turned to face me, a strange light shining in his eyes. "I've heard that song passed around before, but the words were changed so much I couldn't find the original lyrics." I tilted my head at him in curiosity. He had an intrigue for songs it seemed. He quickly went to explaining to me, the song still lingering in my ears. "I collect songs that interest me; those that have meaning and have a history to them." The smile that followed had my lips pulling upwards as well, and I'd do anything to keep that brightened look on his face. "I know the song by heart. If you will allow me I'd love to play it for you so that you may know the true lyrics." I, of course, hoped he would say yes. I wanted to share everything with him. His interest sparked mine, something that the other men had lacked, and I felt suddenly desperate to show him every inch allowed before the snow melted. I also wanted to impress him for some reason.

The singing came to a halt and I nodded towards the door. "She is done. Do you wish to meet her?"

"I would like that." He spoke softly and I gently tapped the door. It was almost soundless but it opened and I stepped back. A small girl crouched and came from beneath it, black bangs falling straight and hanging where her eyebrows sat, and long black hair hanging in a ponytail. Her dark eyes found me, a haze covering them but she smiled and bowed to me. "Lady Kyouka." Her voice sounded different from when she sang, like she entered another world when singing. "May I ask why you have decided to grace me with your presence?" Her voice chimed beautifully and I felt happy that she knew of me. It was a flattering thing to be known in a place where you kept to yourself. I bowed back and smiled. "Please pardon my intrusion. I have a friend who wishes to learn more of our traditions here." I indicated Akito's standing form, and he quickly bowed towards the young girl. She smiled knowingly at him, a sparkle filling her eyes before she quickly covered it. "This is Akito Kashiwagi. He is my guest until the snow melts away." It was hard to remain proper. Though I barely knew the handmaiden before me, I could tell we were trying to suppress giggles that my mother would frown upon terribly. Despite her young age she knew what I meant by 'guest.' I doubted anyone _didn't_ know what we would be doing in the coming nightfall tried to imagine my mother scolding me from afar, and it worked to an extent. The young girl nodded and went to stand before Akito, bowing to him as she did to me. "It's an honor to have you staying with us. I do hope you enjoy the time here. I am Ayako Kuze. I've been adopted into this family by Lady Yoshuu. Please, if you wish to know anything I will gladly tell you so long as it is allowed." She stood straight and smiled. Her attire was vibrant against the darkened hallway; the top a bright white and bottom portion a crimson red. I noted a small hair accessory decorating her ponytail, a lovely red pin sparkling from her dark hair.

Akito wasted no time in finding information. She allowed us into her room, showing him how she did things on a daily basis and telling him what her most important duties were. I noted she left out the fact of impaling the priestess. He'd bring up the statement but she'd danced around the subject like an expert and quickly refer to another topic. I suppose it was a personal thing, the performance of staking the priestess, and something she did not feel comfortable sharing.

I lost track of how many subjects they talked about and breezed through. My left leg had fallen asleep from sitting so long, simply enjoying the two talk amongst each other. Ayako seemed pleased to talk with someone willing to listen of her importance here, and she eventually succumbed to Akito's curiosity and told him of her duties with the priestess. Leaving out unmentionable details of course.

"So, after you have completed the ritual, what happens?" Akito spoke, a soft glow igniting his eyes.

Ayako smiled. "We may do whatever we wish. One is chosen to stay here and raised to train the next Pacifiers." She looked distant for a moment before returning her attention to us both. "I, myself, will probably stay here. I don't have a family. Lady Yashuu has already told me that it is alright. She will find something for me to do, so long as I obey the house rules." I smiled at the radiance she gave off. I imagine she'd been just barely surviving when my mother found her and took her in. My mother, though strict and very stern, could be very understanding and forgiving. She gave kindness in a way that dawned compassion rather than pity. But with that came a way that when she spoke, it was to not be interrupted or questioned and it often came off as harsh. I suppose she needed that demeanor. She would be the one choosing the next priestess after all, and for that she had to find the right person who had been exposed to the harshest of realities and still lived.

Ayako made a small noise and stood, bowing once more to the both of us. "I'm afraid I have other duties to attend to. So I must bid you farewell for the time being." Akito and I stood, my legs numbed from kneeling for so long and nodded. "Thank you very much for the hospitality, Ayako Kuze." I couldn't help but grin at the last name. We now matched and, in a technical way, she could be my sister or daughter. She seemed to realize this as well and matched my smile, beaming and turning to Akito. "I do hope you found the information you were looking for today." He nodded, the way his black hair hung suddenly distracting me. Ayako seemed to notice and smirked. She bowed to us both. "Lady Kyouka, Sir Akito." Then she turned and left, heading towards the rift where the priestess was.

That tension from before was there, stifled by the bright red room and we both turned to leave. It felt unusual being in the handmaiden's room when they were not in them. The sky had darkened remarkably and candles now lit the night. I turned to Akito to say something but was flustered to find him staring hungrily at me, that gaze from before filling his eyes once more. He reached out to stroke my hair again, his gaze never leaving mine. "I know I've been saying it a lot, but your hair is beautiful. _You _are beautiful Kyouka." I blushed a bright red, but smiled and reached for him as well. "You are quite lovely yourself." I whispered, tracing my fingers across his face. I wanted to recognize every detail, every mark, every bump he had. I want to remember everything about him. I found my eyes running away and roaming over his body. I could only think how unladylike this was, doing this somewhere so public and not in my room, but I couldn't bring myself to stop. His hand stopped and cupped my face, a question lingering in his eyes as he searched for something. He must have found it for his lips suddenly met against mine, soft and smooth and cold from the snowy air, but filled with such sweet taste I immediately fell into him. I had kissed other men before but none like was short and sweet but it spoke volumes. We suddenly parted, and despite it only lasting a few seconds, we were both left breathless from the reaction we had created. My face and lips felt like they were burning. If Akito kept looking at me like that, then there would be more to worry about than a simple kiss. I blushed further at realizing what I said and heard a throat clear from the courtyard.

Ayako stood there with an eyebrow quirked. I realized we were still outside her room and wondered how long she had been standing there. I moved to the side, a bit mortified as she passed me and sent a knowing smirk my way, but otherwise remained oblivious. "Pardon me for intruding. The other handmaidens requested me to fetch my stone." She spoke smoothly and passed us both by to enter her room.

I cleared my throat and smiled shyly at Akito. "Would you like to hear the song now?" Thankfully he took the hint and nodded, and I quickly led him back the way we had come earlier. From what I learned of Ayako Kuze, she was probably laughing at my misfortune.


	3. The Rituals will continue

I literally just wrote this today. I'm really getting into this story, lol.

**Zephyr's Voic****e **– I'm so glad you like it! I wasn't sure how well I did in capturing it, but everyone says it's going good so far, so I must be doing something right!

**B. 123** – Hello again! I'm so happy you like the romance!

**Fighter1106 **– *Flails arms* I'm so happy! I tried to make it as detailed as I could!

I really really really appreciate all your reviews! Really you have NO idea! Like I said, new to romance and all, and this is my first actual story for me. I usually do them in third person and in small drabble chapters with some past tense action (Bells and Butterflies is a good example). I do want this one to be longer and more detailed. Also I'm very random at posting chapters! I went to write a page of this today and ended up just-well, you know-writing away! Haha. But herrre it is!

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I smiled at Akito, my fingers gently strumming across the instrument I used to play the song. I kept my voice soft and low. I honestly had no idea whether or not I had a nice voice. No one commented, but, no one cringed either. I suppose that was a good sign.

'_Sleep, priestess, lie in peace,'_

'_Sleep, priestess, lie in peace,'_

'_If you cry, the boat you ride, the last trip to the other side.'_

He pulled a journal out and wrote something down. I assumed the lyrics. His interest in this certain song was intense, to say the least. I couldn't blame him. That song always seemed to strike people and leave a great impression, whether good or bad. Even though the song had a harsh meaning I'd catch him glimpsing at me. He would smile and lift the camera up on occasion; the flash that once blinded me became a common thing.

'_Once you get there, sacred marks you'll bear,'_

_'They shall be peeled off, should you fail to lie still.'_

I saw him cringe a bit at the last line. I didn't blame him. I had told him nothing of what the priestess went through, but he did catch a glimpse of another pacifier staking a paper doll to the wall. He had paled, but not before hearing her murmuring about tattoos. I imagine he'd figure it out soon. Once you were in this place, it was like something heavy began pressing against you. A terrible secret that if spilled from your lips, could be the reason you'd be killed. My mother wasn't against killing people. I knew she did terrible things but I chose to be ignorant to them. The people outside this place knew of went on in here but knew to remain quiet, lest they suffer the wrath of my mother, the soon-to-be head of the Kuze house. Travelers, as far as I knew, saw nothing of this. I continued singing, lost once more in my thoughts as I sang it to Akito.

_Sleep, priestess, lie in peace_  
_Sleep, priestess, lie in peace_  
_If the priestess wakes from her dream_  
_Perform the rite of stakes, her limbs pinned tight_  
_Lest the doors open wide and suffering unleashed on all._

Again he cringed. He probably thought I didn't notice, but I did. I learned to be very observant in here. What else was I to do in my time here?

_Go to the other side_  
_Go to the other side_  
_Cast the boat, take a ride, cross the rift to the other side_  
_Further and further to the other side,_  
_It must sail bearing your tattoos and our offering of tears._

I stopped and smiled. He finished writing the lyrics down and returned a smile of his own. "It sounds harsh." He murmured, reading over the lyrics I had sung. "Yet so peaceful. Is that the intent…?" I nodded.

"Yes. The priestess must be calm and relaxed. Withdrawn from the world. This lullaby pulls her into a deep sleep." He nodded again. "I'm curious," He spoke lightly, a curious gleam in his eyes. "Those tattoos…May I ask about them?" I smiled at this. He was so sweet to ask before questioning such things. I moved closer so our knees almost skimmed each other, placing my hands gently in my lap. "I will explain if you wish. However, if you leave here, you mustn't speak of it." I held unwavering gaze towards him, which he thankfully, seemed to understand. This was a serious matter. "I promise I won't speak of it." I breathed deeply and nodded, fixing my kimono to prepare the story.

I traded my black kimono for a red one. It wasn't my favorite, that is, until he said it suited my complexion very well. Now I suddenly loved it. I dared wear a small red jeweled pin in my hair to match my outfit. I was pleased to find he liked it.

I took another breath and began. "The priestess is chosen by the head of the Kuze house. My mother, she is in training to become the next head. She is to become the head once the current priestess has accomplished her purpose. So she is already beginning to search for the next chosen one." I paused, finding him staring at me intently and blushed. I continued the story, trying to ignore that heated stare. "The priestess, when the snow falls, undergoes a tattooing. We call this the piercing of the soul. The priestess undergoes a ritual. Many people come to visit from the nearby village, and for days, they approach her and ask her to take their pain. It's a very serious task. It's done by-"I paused a moment, thinking of the blinded engravers who had needles decorating their arms. "-certain individuals." I decided to save the engravers for another story. Akito raised an eyebrow curiously and I quickly shook my head. "I shall explain the engravers later. You must understand, this is a very complex ritual, and there are many people who play different roles." He understood immediately, and I knew that expression he wore so well that I paused. "You have a question?" He gave me and incredulous look and I simply smiled. "I've seen you make that face enough to know when you are curious, Akito. Please don't be afraid to ask." He offered me a smile in return, looking adorably shy. I blushed at that thought and inwardly scolded myself. "Does it take a while for just one person to have their pain….tattooed onto the priestess?" I shook my head. "It usually lasts no longer than a day. You see, there is always, at the very least, two engravers tattooing the pain into the priestess's body. Not only are their senses very open, but they are also quick in what they do. They have a special gift inside them, a gift that allows them to see what others normally cannot. That is why they are chosen engravers."

He seemed satisfied with this answer, and though he was still curious, he beckoned for me to continue. "The ink used is not a typical ink. It has to be made correctly, which is also the engravers jobs. Blood, from both living and dead, are taken into separate areas. They are mixed with regular ink that allows it to be pierced into the skin of the priestess. Then the two are mixed together and 'the ink of soul' is created." His eyes were wide at this. I could tell he was having trouble digesting this information and quickly stood, indicating he should follow. He quickly stood to his feet and for once, he was quiet. "As I said, it's a very complex ritual. That is only a small portion of it." I felt a little bold and skimmed my hand against his, the slightest touch sending an electric tingle through me. "Let's continue this conversation later," I offered, trying to distract him from the thoughts. It worked, for her smiled and followed after me. I led him down the hall and decided to show him around some more.

I felt something warm against my hand and looked down curiously, surprised to see him holding mine. It felt so warm being held in his, and even as we stepped out into the colder halls of the mansion, I didn't feel it. All I could feel was his warm skin brushing mine. We paused at an intersection decorated with lights, and up above near the entrance you could see the rafters above. "If you go this way, it leads to an entire new section of the house. There are gravestones outside, and if you keep going straight, there's a hallway that the shrine carpenters' reside in. They are the ones who help build this shrine." This intrigued him.

I expected such reaction; I was becoming so adjusted to his personality. The way he made faces when he was curious, that expression he wore when his eyes met mine, the way he'd fidget when he sat for too long. I began knowing him better than I knew myself, and frowned at the aspect of him leaving. I didn't want him to leave. I pressed closer to him, as if showing our affection would stop the snows from melting. From the spring that would approach soon after. I loved warm weather so much, but now that Akito was here, I found myself loving winter more. It was winter that brought him here. It was winter that favored me with his presence. It was winter that smiled down at us, letting delicate little crystals flutter across our connected hands.

He gladly accepted me into his embrace, petting my hair with a gentle hand. My heart bloomed at this. I felt it swell in my chest and increase in tempo, filling me with an emotion that made me want to fly. We pulled away from each other, and I was surprised to see a shade of red in his face. I giggled at this. For once I wasn't the only one standing here with a reddened face. "Why Akito, your face is red." I pointed out with a shy smile, and he met my gaze, looking just as shy. "I can't help it. When such a lovely creature is tempting me in her own house, it's very hard not to blush." He smirked and I reddened further, stepping back and grinning. I loved our wordplay, and though we stood apart I kept his hand in mine, leading him to the other side of the house. A few people had passed us in the halls, but thankfully most were with the priestess for the piercing of the soul. "Let's distract temptations then shall we?"

I opened the door and the snowy air met us, the chilled morning air fresh and crisp when I inhaled. It reminded me of the kiss Akito and I had shared. That sweet kiss. I wanted to kiss him again, for him to hold me, and to feel our bodies against each other. The thoughts filling my mind were so unladylike and uncommon for me. Trying to distract my wandering thoughts I indicated the standing graves along the wall. "This is where shrine carpenters are buried." I bowed, as did he, towards the many stones. I wondered whether or not I should tell him of the fate they were doomed to. It was considered an honor, but to me it was terrifying. Having to be buried alive within this house…

I already didn't like the aspect of staying here the rest of my life. I wanted to see the outside world, to see how different it was, and other customs besides ours. This one was so stifling, so suffocating; I feared losing myself completely in here. I stopped suddenly and faced Akito, who looked surprised at the sudden move. "Akito," I whispered, suddenly wondering. "Tell me about the world." He blinked for a moment, tilting his head. "The world?" I frowned, realizing how vague that was. "I mean…I've never left here. I've never been outside of this mansion so I don't know what life is like outside of here." He seemed surprised, but at the same time not, and smiled. "I…" His face scrunched up as he searched. "…I honestly don't know where to begin." I giggled at this and took his hand again. "What's something you love? Or a place you've been that was amazing?" His eyes lit up at this and he smiled. "The ocean."

I blinked, tasting the word on my tongue as I spoke it. "The…ocean?" I have never heard of such a word and briefly wondered its meaning. "Yes, the ocean. It's a great river of water. It's so big you can't see anything in the distance besides the sky and water itself."

"Ocean…" I mumbled, my eyes lighting up. I suddenly wanted to see it. Akito's eyes seemed to brighten every time he described it. "You can see the sun setting from the right spot. The water moves on its own, and crashes into sand."

"Sand?" I murmured in awe. He nodded. "It's very grainy. And rough. It can be hot as well if you're barefoot. But when you stand in the water, it runs over your feet and you can feel the sand sinking beneath you, and it's so cool and soft." I could imagine it now and longed to go see this magical place he described. I wanted to see it so very much. "There are also these hard items you can sometimes find. A lot of people call them shells." He smiled. "They come in different shapes, sizes and colors. They're very beautiful."

I realized how close we were, unconsciously leaning closer to each other so that our foreheads almost touched. I know I should have moved, stepped back and apologize, but I couldn't. And from the way Akito had been acting, I knew he didn't mind. "It would be nice to see a beach." I breathed, afraid to speak loud and ruin this amazing moment. He chuckled. "That's only one amazing thing in the world." I brightened at this. "Tell me more," I pleaded softly. I wanted to hear more, to know more. I wish I could _see _such wondrous places but I was here. "Have you ever been to a festival?" He asked and I frowned. Unlike an ocean I've heard of them, but never have I been. "Yes. I've never been to one though." He grinned and leaned closer. "Maybe we could sneak away and visit one," My lips pulled down and I pulled away, glaring at the dirt beneath my feet. "My mother would never allow it. I'm meant to stay here and never leave." He took my chin in his hand and pulled my face back to him, his expression softening. "But you're not happy here."

It was more of a statement then a question. I sighed, knowing he was right, but knowing leaving was never an option for me. "I don't know anything outside this place. All I know is this life and my family. What would I do if I _did _leave?" He smiled again at this. "I'd take you to see the ocean. A festival. I'd take you everywhere you wanted to see." I blushed at this, his hand still holding my face and gently leaned down. Again our lips met, and I smiled into his. If what lay outside this place felt this amazing, I surely wanted to go. This kiss lasted longer and was more intense. My lips parted so I could taste him properly. I never thought something like this could feel so wonderful. He made my heart beat so fast I could hear it in my ears. It was a feeling like being underwater for too long. Everything is so blurry and stifled out, dulling everything, then suddenly you rise from the water and everything is clear and bright. I wanted this forever. I'd be happy with just him for the rest of my life.

We pulled away and needless to say, we were trying to catch our breath. I shyly looked down, knowing my mother could never hear the words that came from my mouth next. "It would be nice to leave. I'd like to see the world…with you." I gazed up to see his expression, and he appeared pleased with my words. "I don't think leaving would be so bad." He spoke soft and low, tilting his head. I placed my hand on his chest, over his heart and smiled sadly. "I think I'm starting to like you more than I should." He didn't respond, but simply took my hand and offered a sympathetic expression. He didn't need to say anything. I knew. He was starting to feel the same way about me, and caressed my hand with his. I suddenly didn't want to continue the original intent for this meeting. I did, in a way, but then I didn't. It was already hard to think of him leaving my side. I wanted him here forever, but men were not welcomed when no snow touched the ground.

When we go through with this, it's going to hurt in a way I'm unfamiliar with. I didn't want that. Vaguely, I wondered if it would be so bad for me to leave with him. Feeling uneasy I beckoned for him to follow and led him passed the gravestones and into the door. There were only two shrine carpenters. They bowed to us but we were otherwise ignored. Akito pondered this, but I knew why. They didn't want to become attached. Once their duty was filled, the head of them would bury them alive in the wall. I cringed at that fate and led Akito away quickly. "I usually don't come this way. I'm actually not allowed, but I sneak over from time to time." I laughed lightly and led him out the small door. "So long as I don't interrupt anything, my mother usually doesn't say anything." I led him along stairs, pointing rooms out here and there. His interest peeked again and he examined the odd walkway.

As usual he was interested in the most random things. I smiled and followed him in his search. He'd occasionally point out something I'd never seen. A marking, a small symbol, or something minor that often went unnoticed. I found myself interested as well. With how observant I could be, it was strange how I didn't notice the little things, and how he could make me see them. My mood seemed improved as well. I bit my lip to hold back a smile, trying to remember the last time I had this much fun with someone. Our hands would accidentally touch occasionally, and then suddenly we were doing it on purpose. A brush of our arms here, a small bump there, or a hidden caress somewhere in between. We found excuses for us to constantly remain touching. Whenever we did, I kept thinking that leaving wouldn't be so bad. Soon, it became all I thought about.

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Bam, another chapter!


	4. As Our love Blossoms

I know I say this a lot, but thank you thank you thank you for the reviews! I would have posted this chapter faster but Microsoft started giving me issues. Also, I'm starting college on Thursday and I'm not sure how it's going to work with the updating, but trust me, I won't abandon you! I really hope you love this chapter! 3 There's also a romance scene in here, though it doesn't go into detail, I guess it's going to go up to M for now.

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I gazed at my reflection in my mirror, an unusual gleam to them. I shifted on my knees. My impatience that I maintained so well most of the time was making itself known. I have been acting strange the past few days. I've been dressing up, combing my hair and putting it up in simple styles, making sure I always looked presentable and beautiful. My mother came into my room, probably noting how strange I've been acting. I met her stare in the mirror and frowned. She didn't need to say anything. She was easy to read. I stood and faced her. Tonight. It was happening tonight. I felt excitement and horror at that aspect. Would he like what he saw?

I stood, bowing to my mother. She floated in and for a moment, she appeared to be a ghost, somehow grazing across the floor without touching it. Her eyes zeroed in on my face, my hair, and my black kimono. They finally rested on my eyes. Many emotions flooded her gaze while her posture remained stiff. I wanted to speak, to say something, but there was nothing to say. At least, not until she spoke. I learned this rule rather quickly.

"I assume I do not have to tell you this, but men are here for the purpose of reproducing only. They are simply to continue the blood line." I sensed the hints of a warning and quickly masked any emotion that would give me away. "Of course mother." I turned back to the mirror, holding her gaze within the reflection and went back to brushing my hair. She couldn't know I had fallen in love with him. He'd be gone that much quicker. I had to hide it. "I just thought dressing up would make our moments together better. We are around each other quite a while. Why not attempt to dress like a lady?" She appraised me for a moment, and if she saw something I didn't see it register. I hoped she didn't. She glided towards me and took the comb, beginning to brush my long black hair with it. I thought I saw the hints of a smile threatening to touch her lips. If others were watching, they'd see nothing but a cold woman brushing another woman's hair. But I knew. This was one of our rare mother-daughter moments. She had strange ways of showing love. I smiled gently at her in the mirror. She stepped back after a lovely ornament was placed in my hair, holding my bangs back so that my face could be seen properly. She lifted my chin up with a finger so she could gaze into my eyes once more. Her lips twitched and she released her hold. "Lovely as always." She breathed gently. "I imagine your child will capture your beauty." I brightened at this compliment. I bowed slowly, the air around me light and ready for tonight. I'd conceive the next Kuze child tonight. It would be Akito and I's child. I wonder, what if we left and took the child with us? We could see the ocean together. See a festival. I chided myself greatly for suddenly thinking that thought. In front of my mother, no less. Surely she noticed it.

A small knock at the door had me standing up straight, ready for Akito to join me. I was surprised to see Ayako enter instead. She made her way to the both of us, bowing respectively. In her arms she carried a small platter of foods and two drinks, a sincere smile on her face. "Lady Yashuu, Lady Kyouka," She murmured and turned to my mother. "I have brought what you asked for." I eyed the foods decorating the plate, knowing very well what they were for. These nights I was to retire early with my guest, and often passed a meal, therefore a snack dish and drinks were prepared that we could keep in the room. We were to not leave until the sun peeked from the skies.

My mother bowed. "Be sure my daughter is comfortable Ayako. I shall fetch Akito Kashiwagi." She retreated quickly through the door from earlier. Her mind was elsewhere, and I worried that she knew of my growing affection for Akito. No doubt she'd take it out on him. Distractedly I glanced at Ayako. Her eyebrow was raised slightly, a knowing but affectionate smirk boring into mine. "Lady Kyouka." She offered me the platter and bowed. I knew that look on her face. She read me like a book and knew. I don't know how. She was a child, but she was so _observant, _that I was often startled around her. But she knew, and with that knowing, she silently pleads for me not to get in to deep.

I think I already am in too deep. Both Akito and I are. Why couldn't another man have been brought to me? Or why couldn't he have been born in another generation to be with another woman? I cursed that thought bitterly. He was mine.

Wait…mine? No, he _isn't_ mine. He's here for one purpose and one purpose only. I can't convince myself as I turn to the mirror again and make sure my hair is just right. I set the tray of treats down after doing so. I forgot I had been holding them. I honestly had no appetite, so I barely took more than a glance at them before my thoughts returned to that man. Ayako's gaze grazed mine in the reflection and she smiled. "If I may so, you look absolutely lovely tonight Lady Kyouka." She bowed with a sweet and genuine expression. Two had already commented on my beauty. I appreciated them, but they were not the opinions I wanted. I only craved his opinion and waited anxiously for him to come. Every heartbeat had me thinking my mother was tormenting him, cascading a million questions on him of me.

Ayako, so uncharacteristically like herself tonight, only nodded once to me with a genuine smile. She was feisty from what I could tell of her. She could be inappropriate as well. It normally bothered me when people were so bold and lacked personal feelings in regards to others, but now, I couldn't be but amused. She sent me a knowing gaze in the mirror and bowed, leaving me alone with the thoughts rampaging my mind. I tried to ignore the slight hints of worry beneath her expression as she left.

It suddenly felt too quiet and stifling in the room. I knew I only waited a few moments, but it felt longer than that. I couldn't stop the impatient huff that escaped from my lips. No one was around to hear my improper noise; therefore, I didn't bother myself on acting so rudely. I just wanted him here with me. I wanted us together. I wanted to know more of the world. I wanted to learn more about him. Was this so wrong? Was this really so…so wrong?

'_Of course it is. Of all the things not allowed in this house, you fall in _love? _With a _**stranger **_no less.'_

Love…? Did- No, I couldn't love him…I had only known him a few days. Was-was that even possible?

I nearly jumped when the door was pulled open and my mother entered. Akito followed behind her. That look in his eyes had me resisting the urge to run to him, to hold him in my arms, away from everyone. My mother was here with us and she'd know. That was unacceptable. She couldn't know. If she found out, it would all be ruined. So, I simply stood and strolled forward, doing what I usually do. I bowed. My brother and Akito bowed as well and my mother smiled lightly. She was often happy when plans came together to produce the next generation. She looked forward to her granddaughter, no doubt. But, even I knew that we couldn't decide the gender. I didn't know what to do if it were to be a boy. Men are not welcomed here, and if it turns out to be a boy, I worry for what his future would hold. Thankfully I have time to ponder this predicament. It would be Akito's child as well, so maybe we could both do something? I sincerely hoped.

She bowed once more toward us and placed a hand upon my stomach, murmuring whispered prayers. Prayers for fertility and conceiving the next heir. Akito had been explained this away from me by my mother earlier. All men who were brought to my chamber were explained beforehand. She finally stopped and smiled, a hopeful tint covering her lovely eyes.  
My mother gracefully left, her movements' fluid and leaving the two of us alone together. Normally I'd find myself eager to get this situation over with and be done with it. To become the bearer of a child and continue on my way. This felt so much different. So much more...exciting. I smiled gently at Akito, a strange fluttering in my stomach.

"It is good to see you again." I murmured. He smiled brilliantly, a sight he reserved for only me. I felt flushed just from being in his presence. I took his hand in mine eagerly. "Come, you must be cold. Let's sit here by the candles."

We moved to a corner of the room, where we would be most unseen. The shyness and properness could now drop. We would not be interrupted anytime soon. I led him behind a screen where a few pillows sat. My room was very open, and could be seen at some points to the stairs, but few traveled between that area. The handmaidens and my mother, mostly.

He went along with me, a tranquil look crossing his features. We both seemed content to just be in each other's company.

"I have missed you, Kyouka." He spoke gently and pushed a stray strand of hair behind my ear before taking my hand. I laughed, the noise unusually loud in my own ears.

"It has not even been a day." I replied lightly.

"It seems longer than that to me." He spoke, a solemn sound to his tone of voice.

I frowned and gave a sad smile. "I understand how you feel." I understood it a little too well. I caressed my hand across his face, doing my best to hide the longing I had for him. Never having dealt with such strong emotions, I didn't hide it too well. If he noticed he said nothing. He cleared his throat nervously and suddenly appeared awkward. "I've…never done this before." He spoke, looking down shamefully. I smiled at this and placed my hand over his chest. His heart beating was a lovely feeling against my palm.

"It's alright. I shall be here to help. Just follow your instincts." I kept my hand on his chest and moved closer, now kneeling, and held his gaze. I was accustomed to this. Except this time it felt…right. It was going to be perfect. Constantly holding his stare with mine I leaned in and placed my lips over his. He tasted so wonderful and I breathed in his scent. His eyes closed, to which I closed mine as well, and we simply enjoyed the feeling; this rare intimate moment where we were brought closer than ever. I felt myself glowing. Nothing could ruin this. Nothing in the world, not even the summer air melting the snow, could stop my happiness. I imagined the ocean when I kissed him, the sun setting, the wonderful feeling of openness filling my being. I slowly became aware that I was in no way fond of closed spaces. I wanted open air. I wanted to breathe in the world outside of this mansion. I smiled gently into the kiss, our lips unable to leave the others for too long. He smiled as well and took control suddenly. I gladly gave it to him. I'd give everything to him at this point.

I wanted more of him. I want everything with him. If he were to stay with me forever – then I can say in my heart- that I would need nothing else. I just wanted him. Our breathing grew heavier, as did our kissing, and our tongues danced together as we fell to the floor.

It didn't matter that my kimono was a mess. It didn't matter that my breathing was embarrassingly loud. Everything around me didn't matter at that moment. I had Akito. I had him with me, and though he never said, I was sure he was mine. I kissed him everywhere, his skin warm against mine as our bodies collided together. This was all I needed. This was all I wanted. For once in my life, I felt truly, truly happy.


	5. It has Swept me Away

Gah, so much school and work and stuff. I've actually been a bit depressed lately and writing this has kept me sane. You see, I took cosmetology, but failed the first semester. I just want to do nails but mom wouldn't help unless I went for the full degree. Y'know, hair, makeup, waxing, etc.

So I started the first semester over and realized I really, really don't like hair. At _all. _It's just not for me, and I've told my dad, but now I need to convince mom. She doesn't realize how much I hate it. So I plan on quitting and getting a job. I feel so bad about it though. Like this whole entire things was pointless and I could have been doing something productive.

Hah, sorry. I needed to vent. Being an adult is frustrating. ;~; Someone hug me!

Lol anyway, here is chapter five! Again, Ayako is my own made-up oc. And if you have any suggestions for a chapter, please let me know!

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Dull thumps filled my ears. That was the first thing to register, then, I realized my room was warmer than usual. A pressure against my side was only some of the hints of the occurrence here. I blushed to the point that I could convince someone I was ill. Even so, I smiled in the dimly lit room ad breathed in the air. The thumping came once more, and though it was soft it rang of impatience. I frowned slightly. The breathing next to me picked up just the slightest and the thin blankets stirred, the form underneath groaning. I giggled and lifted the blanket away, revealing the man I would never grow tired of. "I'm afraid it's time to awaken." I stood and went for his kimono he had been wearing, briefly wondering when it had been tossed across the room. I took it in my arms and turned to find him staring at me from where we'd been sleeping. Well, _sort _of sleeping. The blanket covered the lower region of his body, leaving his torso exposed and opened to my examination. I could stare at him and always find something new to look at.

I stood staring, my mind warning me that my mother would not be happy at my absurd fantasies. Even so I wanted so badly to crawl back in with him and have another wonderful night. Instead I did the proper thing and stood before him, half his body still blanketed and looking so tired. I smiled and handed him his attire and went to fetch mine, adoring the way his eyes followed me. Even when so sleepy he seemed fascinated in only me. I was pleased with such results. I bent forward to grab my kimono and carefully wrapped it around my body. Another impatient knock sounded at the door and I sighed inwardly, amazed that she didn't bother just coming in without even a knock. I turned to Akito to see him already dressed. He went to my side almost instantly, as if drawn to me, and lifted my chin with his hand to place a soft kiss on my lips. I'm sure it would have gone farther if not for another impatient knock. I couldn't help but huff when he pulled away and he simply smirked, obviously pleased with my reactions. I pulled away, or rather forced myself, and went to the door. I opened it slowly and bowed to the tall figure of my mother, who stood with a small scowl on her face.

"Kyouka. You know it is very unladylike to keep someone waiting." I opened the door so that she may step in and she glided through, eying the room before settling her stare back on me. "Such rudeness will not be tolerated in this house. Understood?"

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Akito frowning, looking guilty and a tad afraid. I couldn't blame him. My mother was rather intimidating. I only nodded and bowed my head low. "It won't happen again." Though if anything was to be said for the past few days, it probably, very much, _would _happen again. I had to bite my tongue to suppress a sigh that threatened to escape. My demeanor had been changing so drastically around Akito I often forgot to remain proper.

My mother's face recovered rather quickly, and now no one but those who really knew her could tell how she felt. She turned to Akito, running her eyes up and down his form, before a small smile graced her lips. "I do hope you enjoyed your night. Ayako will be bringing your breakfast shortly, so please prepare yourselves for the day." She retreated quickly through the door she came, leaving the two of us alone again. Of course she just wanted to make sure we had a successful night of conceiving the next heir. If fortune was in our favor it would be a girl. To me, it was Akito's baby, and whether boy or girl I would treasure them.

I couldn't help myself. Once my mother left I went to Akito and wrapped my arms around him and kissed his lips. I cared about nothing with him. Him, this, was all I needed anymore. Or so I've convinced myself. I leaned into the kiss with eagerness, convinced I was never pressed close enough to him. I had no idea how long we stayed like that but eventually we pulled away, both of us grinning and our breathing erratic.

"We should probably get ready now. Ayako will be here soon." I spoke gently and he nodded, his wonderful eyes pulling me in and I pressed my lips against his once more.

"Come. We keep spare kimonos hanging over here." I led him to where two were stretched on wooden poles. They looked rather large, straining against the ties holding them in place, but they were honestly small. We had so many people come to the mansion that there was an abundance of clothing for people of every age and gender. I led him to an area where a large box sat dusty and looking scarcely untouched. It held most of my clothing, and clothing prepared for the next man who would stay here. I pushed the lid aside with nimble fingers and reached in to grab a darkened kimono. It reflected a tainted blue in the light, and instantly, it made me think of Akito. The color suited him in my eyes and I instantly handed it to him with a smile. "You'll look handsome in this." He bowed and took it from me, his eyes grazing mine lovingly. He seemed so flattered by the compliment. "It is an honor to where such beautiful clothing."

I beamed at him and turned back to the box, my eyes roaming over a lovely black kimono with a red sash, and a tinted dark red with a more golden sash. They were both gorgeous, but, I wanted to know which one he would like best. I shifted back and forth questioningly, having trouble deciding with him standing so close, and tried to decipher his facial expression to see if I could catch a hint. I suppressed an irritated mumble and jumped when he came to my side suddenly, placing his hand on the darker of the two pieces of clothing. "They both look beautiful. But, if I may, I think this one matches your beauty better." He smiled and picked the black and red item up, holding it so that I could take it from his hands. I sat there shocked for a moment before grasping it and holding it to my chest, suddenly too flattered to care about what I'd be wearing. He simply smiled and took my hand to place a kiss on the back of it, and stood. "I shall leave you to get dress my dear Kyouka." He bowed and stood to head to the other side of the room, leaving me flustered behind the two hanging kimonos. Even though we had just been together that night, he was still a gentleman and gave me privacy.

If it weren't for him I'd have gotten dressed a lot quicker, but I wanted to be perfect, so I made sure everything on me sat just right. The kimono hung on my body with no wrinkles, the sash was tied into a perfect bow, and the sleeves draped from my wrists at the perfect length. I smiled down at the results before quickly rushing to the mirror. He was in another corner of the room also dressing, and though we were in the same room, his form was hidden from my sight. I remained as quiet as possible and sat before the mirror, gently grabbing the comb and brushing through my long, dark locks. It was messy from the night before and had an unusual look to it, something I would have hated, but this was strangely attractive in my eyes. It was something deeper, something that proved that this night was more than my own imagination. That something bigger existed than this mansion. That there was something that made me happy, and that I _could _be happy. Regrettably, I began brushing the mess until it was decent and twirled my hair into a bun. Some hair caressed the sides of my face and neck, pieces that were too short to do anything with. I smiled at the reflection and placed a jeweled piece to help hold the resulting hair piece together. I loved my hair down, but both Akito and my mother pushed me to putting it up. Akito, because I wanted to look perfect for him, and my mother, because she knew what happened these next few nights and highly disproved of messy hair. Not that she already didn't already, but she tended to be less lenient during the winters calling. I stood slowly and slipped on a pair of sandals, knowing it was still too early for the sun to shine. Our mornings and evenings often started early. It was to prevent late night disturbances that might wake the priestess. I knew the ceremony was to begin soon, and I'd see less and less of Ayako.

I hear a small knock from the door and murmured a quiet "Come in." The door was pushed open and a small form entered the room, wearing the same outfit she usually wore and her eyes looking quite red. Her handmaiden attire looked disheveled and messy as well.

"It looks like you had a rather rough sleep, Ayako." I mentioned.

She smiled at me sleepily, carrying a tray of bread and cheese with what I assumed to be water. I heard shuffling around the corner before Akito emerged, now dressed in the dark attire I had picked. It took all my restraint to not stare longingly at him and returned my attention to the young girl before me, Akito coming to stand by my side.

"I've been up all night practicing my staking." She mumbled sheepishly.

Unlike earlier her inner child showed and I smiled, patting her head. "You should get proper rest. I understand it is an important job, but if you pull such tiring nights, how will you save energy for the actual ceremony?"

Her lips pursed in thought and she looked down, setting the cold metal tray on the ground. "I guess I didn't think about that…"

She looked disappointed and I chuckled. "It's quite alright. It just proves how dedicated you are."

At this she smiled proudly and looked up at us, reaching her hands so that we may take the tray and prepare to eat our breakfast. "Do you happen to be busy, Lady Kyouka? The priestess is once more going through the piercing of the soul, so I am free for the moment." Her hair still hung in its ponytail but looked messy, and her bangs were swept in odd directions, to which I assumed she had carelessly pushed them out of the way. I had to resist a laugh and took the tray from her, to which she just glared in annoyance.

"We do have time." I said, carefully placing the tray next to my mirror stand. Akito and I grabbed up a piece of cheese and I offered some to Ayako, who took a small piece of bread. Then quickly I turned and reached for Ayako's hand and maneuvered her towards the dresser, indicating for her to sit down. She huffed lightly and I giggled. "Now now, would you rather Lady Yashuu find you dressed so carelessly?"

She froze and, if possible, paled just the slightest before shrinking down. Deflated she huffed again and placed her arms in her lap politely, looking annoyed.

"That's what I thought." I commented, going to work on fixing her hair. "Please Akito, ask anything you wish." I murmured, smiling at him in the mirror. He came to our side and took a piece of cheese from the platter of food, chewing on a piece of cheese thoughtfully. He remained silent for quite some time, and Ayako looked as if she had fallen asleep at some points when I ran my comb through her hair, nearly falling into me a few times.

Akito finally spoke up, albeit careful about the words. "I'd actually like to know more about the priestess… and her ritual." He made it sound more of a question and looked to the two of us, wondering if he had breached a 'no touch' subject. I simply smiled. Curiosity was something I learned quickly. Those who came here often were. You could read it in their eyes, expressions, and the way they held themselves. It didn't take long for the questions to start flowing through their lips.

"The priestess is an alright subject. Though I must insist that it holds no happy details, as you've learned earlier."

He nodded thoughtfully. "It's alright. I…I want to know." I sensed a deeper meaning within those words and looked at him curiously, my pause awakening Ayako who had hunched forward. At this point I had stopped brushing her hair and simply ran my fingers through it, like a mother would her child. She glanced around frantically, her head switching back and forth.

I reach for her shoulders and shook her gently, which helped her come back to her senses. "It's alright. You only slept a few moments."

Ayako sighed and rubbed her eyes. "I'm so sorry. I didn't realize how tired I was." She murmured, though her words were slightly slurred and I smiled at this.

"Why don't you take a small nap Ayako? Or at least lay down so that your body may rest." I kneeled down and patted the pillow I used for the mirror. She blinked a few times and looked doubtful.

"You said you have nothing to do at the moment. I'm sure no one would mind you taking some time to rest." She hesitated, then reluctantly came towards me and laid down, her long dark hair blending in with the color of my kimono as she lay next to me. I immediately began running my fingers through her hair again, a strange motherly instinct that I had never felt before claiming me.

"Just a small rest," She murmured, looking over at Akito. "What else is there you wish to know?" Though tired she still looked serious and I smiled at this. Akito looked to the door, his eyes grazing the room and then finally resting on the younger girl lying down.

"I'm rather curious about the ritual and…what it entails. How- exactly – is it performed?"

I felt Ayako tense slightly and look up to me. I nodded. "He's promised, so it's alright."

Handmaidens, or Pacifiers, often made sure with my mother or I before telling such carefully kept information. I already made sure Akito knew not to speak of this, which was enough to assure the tired girl.

"I assume Lady Kyouka has already told you of the tattoos and engravers?" She asked gently.

He immediately spoke, his voice soothing every fiber of my being. I felt a chill run across my skin.

"She has told me of the tattooing. The 'piercing of the soul'?" He murmured, making it sound like a question. When she nodded he continued. "I know a little about the engravers. They have special sight and are the only ones who can engrave the tattoos into the priestess. I also know the priestess needs to sleep." His nose scrunched in concentration. Ayako sat up then, suddenly serious, and gazed right at him.

"I can tell you of what happens here. But you must never, _ever _speak of it to _anyone _outside this house." The fear in the small body was evident, though not surprising. Anyone who spoke of this or had the potential to speak would soon be missing. Often at the hands of my mother. My mother learned to see who these people were. How? I wasn't sure.

Ayako fidgeted in place, the tiredness leaving her eyes in a flash. She looked almost desperate. Akito hesitated a moment, and I wish I knew what he had been thinking in that instant.

"I won't speak of it. I promise." I sensed the sincerity in this statement and it touched me.

Ayako searched him for a moment then sighed, only nodding.

"The priestess – after being covered in tattoos – is led to the chamber of thorns. There, the three other pacifiers and myself, stake her limbs her to the ground." She paused a moment. The expression on Akito's face was horrifying. A mix between sick and disbelief. I frowned, knowing that now he was pulled in, he was a part of this terrible secret as well. The young girl watched him and took in the faces he gave, giving him time to take in what she had said, and then finally continued. "That is where she sleeps. She mustn't wake from this sleep. If she does, then she has failed her duty; her purpose. Before all of this she is constantly being embedded with people's pain. She stays in a cage during the nights and isn't allowed to see anyone, with the exception of Lady Yashuu and the other pacifiers."

Akito looked solemn and I wanted to hold him. To rewind this and make sure he never heard it. But I couldn't. He knew now, and that was that. An awkward silence dwelled in the air, the tension so heavy I stood and fixed my kimono, trying to suddenly think of places we could go. The mansion was bearing, and I'm sure light had seeped into the air by now. I imagined the sun beating into my pale skin and the warmth it gave. It was too snowy and cold to even see the sun, which saddened me. But with Akito here, things were a little bit better. I imagined the next priestess out there in the cold, needles of engravers constantly being inked into her skin, the pain she constantly felt even in her dreams. This life saddened me. I knew nothing of how life was lived outside this mansion, but I assumed it wasn't this. Life couldn't be this cruel. Then again, this was considered an honor here. She was a priestess who carried the pain of others. I couldn't imagine such a life.

I shook my head, realizing the things I was saying. I kept thinking of life outside this place, when there was no life for me besides this. My mother was here and I was meant to be as well. Akito's voice interrupted my chaotic thoughts, his manner surprisingly calm.

"I…see." He murmured gently, gazing down curiously at the floor. "That explains the lullaby." He looked to Ayako with a curious gleam, that familiar expression of wanting to know more. "I understand the purpose of the engravers as well-"

I refused to tell him that the engravers were blinded and had needles in their arms.

"-But, what exactly is the purpose of you pacifiers? I understand in a way, but then, I've never come to a straight forward answer."

Ayako nodded in understanding and brightened, apparently loving the attention she and the other three girls were now getting. "There are four of us, as you may have heard. We each stand for a cardinal direction and have our own rooms in the houses." She spoke so proudly of what she did; a spark in her eyes as she spoke of such importance. "We are to assist the priestess in any way we can. We help her, talk with her, and make sure she is well and as comfortable as can be. In the end, we are often the only ones she is close with, and keep her mind set on her duty. Then when the time comes, she is led to a place where she is staked down. We sing to her so that she may sleep forever, and then after all that is done, we may do whatever we wish." Ayako spoke softly and smiled, and it had me questioning whether it was because of her duty or the life afterwards. Some of the pacifiers tended to be so set in their duty that they looked forward to it. It disturbed me a little that a child could find staking a person to the ground so fascinating. Ayako scooted closer to Akito, beginning to broach a new subject of who had what parts of all the handmaidens and who did what to Akito. When mentioning the fact that the head handmaiden would have to kill the other three then kill herself, he paused with an incredulous expression.

"So, she has to…_kill _you and the other two?" He looked curious and horrified all at once. It sounded harsh, but honestly, I'd grown up with such tradition so I saw it as normal.

Ayako paused and looked confused. "Yes. It's the tradition in this house. It's something I see as an honor."

"But you will have to die after all of this?" Ayako quickly shook her head.

"Oh no! You misunderstand! It's only done if absolutely necessary. If the priestess's ritual were to fail then it is the head handmaiden's duty to try and satisfy the rift by sacrificing us and then herself." She frowned at Akito's expression, looking a bit saddened by his reaction. I quickly went to them and kneeled on the ground.

Ayako looked upset and Akito looked concerned.

"I believe that's enough for today." I murmured quickly, smiling gently at Ayako and placing a hand on Akito's. He appeared lost in thought, trying to take in all he had learned.

"I apologize. I didn't mean to upset Sir Akito," Ayako rushed out, bowing quickly with a frown. I shook my head and ran my hand through her darkened locks, turning her so that I could run a brush through her hair again. "He is a guest Ayako. This is strange for him, and it will take some time, so please don't apologize." I took her hair in my hands and put it in the normal style she wore, grabbing a nearby jeweled accessory from my desk to hold the hair in place. She made move to protest but I quickly shushed her.

"This will look beautiful in your hair. Consider it a small gift from me."

Soon enough it hung long and dark, a simple ponytail but it was so fitting on her. I smiled when she turned, running my fingers through her bangs until the hung straight across her forehead.

"There. Can't have you running around with such messy hair, can we?"

She smiled lightly at this and stood.

"I shall let you take care of Sir Akito. It is probably my turn to check on the priestess." She bowed, her hands folded together and her eyes roaming over Akito for the briefest of seconds. I could tell she was trying to hide her concern. Concern mainly aimed towards the two of us. I had no doubt. By then both the breakfast tray and tray from the previous night were empty of food, and she took them, leaving with a graceful bow. I went to Akito's side and realized he was now gazing at me, a strange look I hadn't seen before. He seemed- if I guessed right – _afraid_.

I frowned and brushed aside strands of black.

"Did the ritual upset you that much?" I asked gently, wanting nothing more than to ease his ache.

He didn't responded – just sat there staring at me- and finally when I was ready to call for someone he grabbed me. I felt a hand on the back of my head and one wrapped around my waist, holding me tightly to his body. I felt the tension, but even so, I felt happy knowing I was in his arms. I pulled him against me and rubbed his back, murmuring quiet assurances. It was only morning and he was already upset.

"Let's talk of something else. Something besides this place," I offered, my voice nothing but a caress on the wind. His only response was to hold me tighter. I didn't mind.

"I want you to come with me." He finally spoke. What he said had me frozen instantly, surprised by what he spoke. "When I leave," He clarified "I want you to come with me. This place-" He paused, a shuddering breath running by my ear and I frowned. I knew what he wanted to say. This place was bad. Terrible. Horrible. I knew, because, even though I said nothing I thought it often. It wasn't a life I'd choose.

"Come…with you?" I hesitated in that, not able to comprehend it. I wanted to, but…

"I can't."

I couldn't. I knew nothing besides this place. I was taken care of here. How did one live alone, taking care of themselves? He tensed further at my words and held me closer, before finally pulling back to gaze at me. I felt my eye glistening. I wasn't accustomed to being so torn or suddenly put into such a tense predicament. I was supposed to call him crazy. To tell him that I was to stay here, and that he was just a man here to conceive the next heir, and then leave. But I couldn't. I couldn't because I loved him, and because I _did_ want to go with him. I grabbed my head, frustrated at the inner turmoil I was having. He grabbed my wrists and pulled them away, his eyes softening, and kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry. I just- this place- it's so _cruel_ compared to the world outside. Nothing is like this out there. I want you to see that there _is _more than this."

He smiled, but his eyes expressed the slightest hurt, and I immediately felt guilt. I truly didn't mean to hurt him – but how could I do such a thing as leaving? "I'm sorry. I just-"

Akito shook his head quickly. "No, it is my fault for asking such strange things." He smiled brighter this time. In fact, I thought it wasn't strange at all, and I was already beginning to imagine the life we'd live together.

"What if I want to leave with you?" I whispered quietly, a hidden desperation in my tone. I had never been so sure of something and wanted this. I _absolutely _wanted this – and to bring the child of our love to raise in a place far from here; away from this mansion, my mother, and these rituals. His only response was to hug me so tightly I couldn't breathe. With the way he kissed me I didn't need to.

He pulled back in surprise this time, his dark eyes wide. I smiled at that look. Like all of his troubles had melted away. I felt an excitement I had never felt before, a strange glow within from being around him, and for once I felt truly wonderful. We kissed each other, again and again, to the point we couldn't even breathe. In the distance I could see us together and happy, with a beautiful child, standing by an ocean.


	6. But Time is Short

**Fighter1106** - I know it's so sad! I sadly report that I will be following the story of fatal frame, so brace yourself for some tragic happenings. On the other hand the ending is going to be happy. So there's that to look forward to.

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After telling Akito that I wished to leave with him, his entire demeanor changed, and something filled his eyes every time he looked at me. He kissed me so passionately I thought I had melted for a moment. Then we held each other, and now here we stood in the atrium garden of the tree again. It had only been one night so far but I already imagined our beautiful child. I didn't care if it was a boy or girl. It was his baby and I would love them no matter what. I smiled down at my stomach and petted the flatness. I _knew_. I was pregnant, even though we wouldn't know, I somehow felt it. He smiled at this and took my hand in his, protecting my hand from the cold. The snowy air chilled every piece of the mansion and struck me with its iciness. I couldn't feel any of it. All I felt was Akito's warmth. He warmed me in ways that I could not describe. He turned to face me when he was sure no one else was around and smiled down at me.

"Do you really wish to leave with me?"

I had been so sure of saying yes but I still faltered. I saw the hurt briefly cross his face then quickly disappear. I felt so guilty for being unable to properly answer.

"I do! I really do, it's just-" I paused suddenly. So many things could and _would _stop this. "-My mother would never allow such a thing. Plus I know nothing outside this place." I looked down at the ground, a little ashamed of the next words that slipped out. "I'm afraid."

I waited for something to follow but nothing did. After a few painstakingly slow moments I looked up, surprised to see nothing but concern swirling in those lovely orbs of his. He carefully placed a hand on either of my shoulders and smiled gently. "I understand." He murmured and kissed my forehead. "I promise there is nothing to be afraid of. The world is wonderful. I admit, there are some bad qualities of it, but is there not at least _some _bad everywhere?" I hated to admit it but he was right. I was still afraid. He sensed this and pulled me flush against his chest. My hands rested against him, beneath my palms fluttered his heart like a hummingbird. I knew he was right. I knew I wanted to go with him. But…could I really leave? Could I do such a thing? What would happen if somebody heard of this conversation?

I leaned further into him, nuzzling his neck and sighed. "You are right. I just- I've never came across such a decision before – I'm not use to it." I admitted, trailing a finger across his collarbone. "Things are usually decided for me. My whole life has been planned around staying here, and the things we're talking about…they could get us into trouble. I don't want anything bad to happen to you."

I felt his arms tighten and he gave a small chuckle. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be with you." He spoke so surely of everything. I wished I could have that sureness he had. Such a saying would usually have me swooning, but instead, I sighed against his kimono and looked down.

"When winter comes you will have to leave. Then I won't see you again."

To this he had no response. I mentioned what we were both afraid to say aloud, and now that it had been mentioned, an uncomfortable tension stung the air. It matched the gloomy atmosphere surrounding us. I felt the familiar pang of loneliness sting my heart again and sighed. The familiar bitterness winter always stabbed me with, the cold and sadness…

I held tightly to Akito. He was my summer; my fresh air. The warm sun beating down in such a desolate place and filling it with life; the ocean, endless waters surrounding me, a blue sky filling the dull gray void with light…

I didn't want to lose this. I wanted to be with him forever.

His breathe caressed across my hair and I felt him stroke the loose stands. He twirled them around his fingers, his hands large yet strangely gentle as he did so. He always seemed so gentle. I pulled away then and smiled up at him. It was sad, but I couldn't find it in myself to be any happier, for eventually he would be gone. Unless I went with him. I couldn't do such a thing…

Could I?

I took a few steps back, a saddened look crossing my face.

"I want to go with you. I do." I murmured, a little on edge.

"It's just – it's so much – I don't know where to begin." I looked over at him, the anxiety pressing in on me suddenly gone. "No one can know about this. _No one._" I grabbed both his hands, taking in his bewildered expression, inching my face close so that he had nowhere to look but at me. "If anyone finds out about this – about us – it won't end well. No one can know. That we are planning this. We'll never see each other again. Men are not allowed here during these times. So please, _please,_" I begged, unable to express the desire, the desire that I _needed _him to understand the seriousness of it all. "I don't want you taken away because we were careless."

He held tightly to both my hands. Holding them in a careful gesture against his chest and nodded. "I understand. I do. No one will find out." His expression was lighter than before and he smiled so bright it nearly blinded me. "It will be worth it when we are together in the end." He brushed aside my stray bangs, a gentle smile gracing his lips and he leaned in to kiss me. I felt him moving against me, a new excitement boiling in his body that had me hungering for more of him. I was a little surprised when I suddenly reacted to him and grabbed fistfuls of his kimono to pull him flush against my body. His hands dug into my hair and I felt the strands fall from their place, cascading down my back like a flowing waterfall. His hair was a mess and his attire disheveled, and before this could progress any further I pushed him away, both of us gasping for air.

I already began to berated myself; my face was heated from doing this somewhere so public, but I couldn't stop the grin forming. I was just happy no one was around. A red hue dusted his cheeks as well, his eyes ringing of eagerness and a heavy desire filling his gaze when he looked to me. I laughed lightly, my breathe escaping me in a gentle fog as snow danced around us in flurries. I couldn't imagine a better kiss than that. Yet, whenever I thought this, he would always surprise me. He chuckled huskily, and took my hand, placing it against his cheek and leaned his face into it.

"I apologize. I guess I can't help myself sometimes." He stated, obviously proud in the way he made me react.

I hesitated briefly then took his hand. "Perhaps it is time for other distractions." I paused, watching his expression carefully as I continued. "If you are still curious, I can show you where it is the priestess stays. Though we are not allowed to stray inside, you may at least see the building." I offered it gently, unsure if he was still unnerved by the earlier conversation with Ayako. He didn't seem so, and in fact, nodded his head eagerly.

"If you don't mind?"

He was so polite in asking that I smiled. A tension still hung between us and I did my best to ignore it.

"Of course I don't mind. It's not often I get guests here."

He made a small noise, to which I curiously raised my eyebrow at him.

"I don't like the thought of you with other men." He stated it boldly, but he was more concerned than anything. I bit my lip to prevent a grin, never knowing he had a jealous streak. I pulled him to me and began brushing his hair down and fixing his outfit, both of us clearly disheveled from that amazing kiss, and my mother was likely with my grandmother and the priestess during the tattooing. I'd rather not chance looking so unkempt and run into her looking as such. Akito heard my unspoken communication and brushed my hair down with nimble fingers, fixing my sash that had, somehow, unmanaged to untie. I turned a new shade of red when I concluded he had done it, and I just hadn't noticed.

"You don't need to be jealous of those men." I murmured, tracing his face delicately. He didn't respond to this, only observed me for a moment before letting a small smile grace his lips.

I took his hand in mine once we were all fixed up, trying to ignore the ways his eyes followed me, and led him around the cherry atrium to a large set of doors. "This is a very sacred act. You mustn't interrupt or be too loud." When I opened the doors, what greeted me were masses of people, their faces covered and unseen. Akito raised an eyebrow at this, a bit surprised at how many people stood, crowding a building across a pebbled walkway. Faint singing could be heard from inside and I led him down the wooden steps, the floors creaking beneath our weight, and pulled him towards a corner so that we were not in the way. The winter weather seemed to seclude this area and filled it with an ominous glow of clouds and gray. A few turned to stare at our forms through the foggy mass, but quickly turned back, too absorbed in what they were doing to care for more than a few seconds.

I knew what was happening but Akito looked confused, looking to me, a pleading look crossing his features. I squeezed his hand gently and offered a sad smile, pulling him further away from the crowd.

"…It's a little…unsettling." He whispered, gazing around at the covered faces. I nodded. There were probably hundreds of people here but not one spoke. An unusual silence cast over them.

"I shall explain it later. But over there," I spoke softly and pointed to the large building. "Is where the priestess stays. She is undergoing the piercing of the ritual, and is with one of the villagers right now. The pacifiers sing during this process." I gazed around and looked back to him. "It is a very tedious process and requires the utmost concentration." I chuckled at this, a little disappointed that I only had a role in producing the next heir. My mother didn't see much potential in me.

"We should probably go now. I'm technically not allowed to be here." He looked at me in alarm for a moment and I grinned.

"I am allowed to be here, but my mother has made it clear she doesn't like me to visit." I scrunched my nose and sighed. "I'm not sure why. It's not like I have anywhere else I can go."

Akito only smiled at this and took my hand, leading me back to the doors we had come from and through the cherry atrium. It was often empty, as people came long before the sun rose, and stayed long after it had set as well. So the halls were often desolate, save for my mother or a handmaiden traveling though. With nothing else in sight I led him back to my room so that we may warm up, smiling at him when we sat across from each other.

"Would you like to explore more?" I offered. "There's plenty of places you have not seen ye-"

I was interrupted when he placed his lips on mine, my words dying as we collided, and I couldn't suppress the moan that escaped. I smiled into the kiss, gladly willing to do this rather than explore the mansion. I had done this before, but it had never felt this amazing. With others it was just creating life. With Akito, it was more than that, and I'd trade in all of myself if it meant I could be with him forever. I fell backwards on the floor with him hovering over me. He began to untie the random pieces of my kimono that held it together, when I grabbed his hands and giggled. "I'm sorry," I breathed, a small giggle escaping. "We can't do this now." He chuckled and leaned down, trailing kisses down my neck that had me letting out small squeaks.

"Are you sure?" He whispered, and it took all of my control not to lose it then.

I moved to protest but instead, I pulled him back and kissed him harder, the winter air on our skins turning to fire. The goose bumps caused by the frigid temperatures were now for an entirely different reason. I pushed him away before anything could proceed further, happy that it _didn't _progress any further, an apologetic but serious look on my face.

"I'd rather my mother not catch me doing such unladylike things. It's bad enough that she _knows_ what goes on in here."

My heart thundered in my chest and my breathing sounded so loud in this quiet place. I tore my eyes away from his and went to my small dresser, intent on brushing my long hair and recomposing myself. He seemed a tad disappointed, but this was something improper and considered done during the night.

Still, I felt a bit ashamed and gave him another apologetic look. He frowned and shook his head, answering my unspoken language, coming towards me and running his fingers through my freshly combed strands.

"I'm sorry." He said earnestly, frowning gently. "I should take more care in the rules of this place. It is your home after all."

I sighed, shaking my head sadly. "It doesn't feel much like a home."

It felt more like a place of confinement, that once you came into, you could never leave. I frowned at the idea of it, though I knew I was already living it myself. I refused to acknowledge the idea, convinced that whenever I did, I'd lose my own hope of ever seeing the world. I twirled my hair around my fingers, smiling when he went to his camera and pulled it up to take a picture of me, my glassy gaze staring at him through the reflection. Trying to change the subject I randomly blurted a question out.

"What's your favorite color?"

He locked caught off guard, then laughed at it.

"I wasn't expecting such a simple question." He spoke, sitting down next to me. "I'd have to say its blue."

"Why?" I pressed, curious if there was a deeper meaning to it. He pondered this thoughtfully and took my hand in his, tracing the lines in it as he contemplated. "I guess because it's gentle. It's a bold color, but at the same time, it can be so calm and soothing." He glanced up at me curiously. "What about you?" This time it was my turn to pause, running it over in my mind as I sought out a color that attracted my attention. I blinked when none came to mind and looked at him. "I….I don't think I have one." It sounded like a question, something so simple, and I felt silly for not having an answer to something so simple. Instead of teasing me he continued stroking my hand and ran a finger through my hair. "Some of us don't have favorite colors. They change from day to day, depending on our moods. Blue reminds me of so many things; the sky, the water, and the air. That's why it's my favorite." I smiled, enjoying the way he viewed things in such detail and grasped his hand only to place it on my stomach.

"Our child will be beautiful. I want them to be raised away from here, from this place. If it's a boy, it will be kicked out at four years of age." I felt my eyes becoming glassy, the thought of having to abandon my son simply because he was a male. I wouldn't let him be killed. I couldn't.

Akito grasped my hands, lifting my chin up to meet his eyes and smiled. "That's why I want you to come with me. You wouldn't have to worry about any of that outside this place. I'd always be there to protect you."

He clutched my hand and smiled, the other remaining against my stomach, a sure look crossing his face. I didn't know whether or not I was pregnant, but until the winter ended, we'd be trying until the signs began appearing. Prayers would be constantly chanted to us by my mother, and though I had no preference on what the baby was to be, I desired a girl. If just to save the boy from a terrible fate.


	7. Skies are Cold, but the Heart is Warm

**Curious Reader** – Ah yes! I'm sorry, my posting is quite random and I apologize about that! I appreciate the feedback! I try to be as detailed as possible without rambling too much. Which is sometimes hard.

**Zephyr's Voice** – Yes, I'm meaning for it to be a long story if possible, rather than just short drabbles. I'm slowly building up to the tragic parts, hence the slight hints of foreshadowing in some. Because the stronger their bond gets, the more tragic it will be later on! As cruel as that is! D:

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Akito's and I bond grew stronger with each passing day. During the days I'd show him new parts of this mansion, smiling at his curiosity that never seemed to leave. During the nights we were attempting to conceive. It was a few weeks later when I felt how hard my stomach had grown, and that it extended just the slightest. The winter had faded into colder days, leaving a colder essence in the air and candles burning brighter to keep the warmth in.

My mother came into the room with a knowing smile and glanced at my stomach. She was pleased, as was I, so for the moment everything seemed so peaceful. I had to restrain myself from running straight to his arms. I wanted him to know. For so long we had attempted to conceive, and to now see physical evidence, I had to admit I was a little tearful. His baby. I was carrying _his _baby. There was nothing I could think of that would be more wonderful.

My mother stared carefully at me from her spot, a calculating look hidden in her irises, before a gentle smile crossed her features. I could see the hints of her eyes narrowing, the way her lips pursed just the slightest, the way she tried to dig into my eyes to find something. I looked down at my stomach, stroking it with a gentle hand, and hoped she found nothing in my face. She couldn't know. Absolutely couldn't. I prayed heavily for her to find nothing, even though what we were planning was beyond betrayal. But if I couldn't have this one treasure, this one fortune, what else was I to do?

The tension hung in the air and she finally drifted to me, lifting my chin with a single finger. It felt cold against my skin, I assume from being out in the shrine with my grandmother and the priestess. I was left with no choice but to look her in the face, trying to hide anything she might find. Only, she smiled down at me, something serious and knowing in the way she gazed at me and released her hold. Her hand rested on my stomach and she chanted another small prayer, something that was constant, and left her breath in a small whisper. She was to pray until the child was born. I felt no need to pray for the beautiful form. I instead spoke prayers of leaving, whether the child was a boy or girl. I wanted them raised away from all this.

"You are progressing well. The baby will be healthy as always if this continues. She'll be a divine creature indeed."

I had to resist the frown at her words, her assumptions that it would be a girl furthering my fear that it would be a boy. I would have to be rid of him and hated that thought more than anything. I silently prayed Akito would come and find him, knowing that soon the winter's ice would be melting and parting ways for the sunny springs. Soon, I sadly thought, he would be leaving me. I wanted to stay with him forever.

I shifted and smiled down at my extending kimono. It could only be told if one thoroughly looked, as I wasn't big enough to draw attention. My mother smiled and turned away from me, pleased, but with a strange aurora about her. She seemed to be plotting and carefully chose the moves she made around me. She knew. She somehow knew. She always did, and always found out the littlest things, and I breathed deeply trying to calm my anxious nerves.

"Akito is on his way. I expect him to take care of you while I am not here, as he will not be able to see his child after this. Do not grow attached to him, Kyouka. It will only hurt in the end." She poke so stern on the last sentence.

She knew. She did.

I frowned down and frowned, my heart nearly shattering at those words. She realized I had grown attached to him.

But, she didn't realize I planned on leaving here with both him and our child. _Ours. _She was aware of my feelings which I silently thanked the heavens. That was the only thing, the absolute thing she knew. She couldn't find out more. And she wouldn't.

All I could do was stare at the floor, a silkier, redder shaded kimono decorating my form.

"I understand, mother." I spoke softly, finally looking up to meet her eyes. "I have grown too attached. It is my own fault, but he will be leaving soon, yes?" I never lied before, so I tried to dance around the subject, avoiding a lie but avoiding telling the truth at the same time. "Spring will be coming soon and everything will be alright. I am now bearing the next heir and that is all that matters." I smiled and gently stroked my stomach. She gave a gentle smile of her own, though barely detected, and ran her fingers down my hair. "Of course. I am just making sure you understand. It can be hard, but soon, you will learn how to live as I do. Living detached and free from the claims of love. It hurts at first. Soon you'll realize that this is all you need."

She pulled away, the calculating look once again back, and bowed.

"Akito wishes to come visit you. I will leave the two of you alone, but do not push yourself. You are bearing a child now and need to take care of your body."

She stepped back from me, smirking for a moment, before it vanished completely and she turned to leave. I sensed something deeper but couldn't quite place it. Instead I stood there, a frown curving my lips. I took a breath when she left the room, hugging my arms and imagining the new sights I would see when I left. I felt so bad, but then, I also felt that this was the right thing to do. I couldn't decide which would be better for me and felt the pressure sinking in on me. I felt a few tears slip down, frustrated at this and silently wished the time to hurry so that I wouldn't have to hide anymore. I don't think I could keep up with this under my mother's knowing gaze. Akito found me in the room like this and quietly came to my side, embracing me in his arms. I felt so safe there, so happy and free. He made everything easier and I hoped he'd be here the next time my mother came to see me. I felt I could do things with him around.

I looked up at him with a tearful expression, the words that left my mouth causing a terrible guilt in my stomach.

"I don't know if I can do this." I croaked. His expression softened and he took my hand, running his surprisingly smooth fingers across the palm. The flesh tingled slightly from the touch.

"It's alright." He leaned down so he could see my face, hidden behind my long hair and caught my gaze. "Is this what _you _want?"

I gave him an incredulous look, frowning.

"Of course it is! I want to be with you. I want to see everything with you," I spoke surely, never before so serious about anything. "But my mother-"

"-won't find out." He finished, cutting me off. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, his fingers running smoothly through the soft locks.

"I know it's new and something you're unsure of. But it's what you want, isn't it?"

I only nodded, and he spoke again when I went to protest the troubles we'd go through.

"This is something you want. This is new, I know. I understand the punishments for committing such acts, but in the end, it will be worth it." He leaned forward, pressing one hand against my stomach, while moving the other to the back of my neck and kissed me. It was so gentle I barely felt it, enjoying the soft and sweet sensation it sent through me. I briefly wondered if the places I visited would give me this sort of feeling. He moved and leaned down, whispering in my ear as if he read my mind. "Imagine the wonderful places we'll see together. Glorious places that can never be expressed in words. The ocean, the forests, and mountains. So many places we will see together, along with our child." I smiled at the idea of it all. I had heard of mountains but, of course, never saw them for myself. We technically lived in a mountainous area and I yearned for something different. I leaned into his loving embrace and smiled.

"It'll be nice to see something besides this place." I whispered gently, smiling at the aspect of having a family. I leaned back suddenly at the thought, staring at him in horror.

"I've never taken care of a child before. I've never been a _mother_."

I had been too busy worrying over the fact that I was going to leave. More like _escape, _and I was taking the supposed heir along with me. The thought that I'd never raised a child alone provided a new problem. I was under the impression that my mother, the pacifiers, and many others of the house would be helping to raise the new bloodline so that they adjusted and learned the rules as quick as possible. Akito rubbed my back soothingly. "We all start somewhere Kyouka. Do not stress yourself. We will worry over that when the times comes. Let's just worry about getting out of here first."

I smiled nervously, unconvinced of such dilemma. He pulled my face up, his presence providing comfort I doubt he knew affected me. "Hey," He whispered, trying to catch my wavering gaze. "You'll be a wonderful mother."

This caught my attention and I finally looked at him, the slightest of hope flickering in my expression.

"Really?" I asked, still unsure.

He chuckled in response and leaned down, placing another kiss on my lips. "Of course. Don't be so unsure of yourself."

I gave a shy smile and leaned into him, my forehead resting against his chest and wrapping my arms over my stomach.

"We've talked about leaving, but we haven't discussed how. I'm pregnant, and soon, I'm sure I'll be unable to help much in anything. I'll be too tired, from what my mother has told me." I flashed my concerned gaze up to him, frowning. "You will also be leaving soon. I don't understand how this will work."

He looked thoughtful on this. I assumed he was thinking of what the possible options were. After a long while had passed he took both my hands, leading me to the pillows behind my screen and sat me down, kneeling next to me but never releasing my hand. I was thankful for not being too heavy yet, already disliking the aspect of becoming bigger. It would be worth it though. In the end I'd have a beautiful child. The expression he turned towards me with spoke volumes, so many emotions flickering across I couldn't place what he was thinking.

He glanced around, as if paranoid someone were listening and leaned towards me, so close I felt the heat radiating from his body. I grew paranoid myself, also looking around in fear someone would hear our plans. That someone would find out we were planning on doing unspeakable things and that they'd tell my mother who would do something horrible.

"We could somehow leave together. I understand your mother never lets you leave, but perhaps, on the night I need to leave we could leave together. We'll leave in the dead of night, when no one is awake."

I frowned, knowing the many faults within that plan.

"We are deep within the mansion Akito. And to leave, we have to go through the corridors where the shrine carpenters build. A pacifier is with them at all times. They work tirelessly, and from what I've seen, they never sleep." I gave a sad smile, knowing this would be a tricky situation that could go wrong with one bad move.

He bit his lip at this, unsure before speaking again. "We could say you are escorting me to the front of the mansion. That you are showing me to the entrance so that I may leave? Or would that be too suspicious?" He asked unsurely, and I actually wondered this myself. We frowned at the dilemma, each moment wasting away, which was something we could not afford. I imagined the baby in my stomach, pushing me further into this decision and wanted them to be raised elsewhere, with Akito and myself. Away from here, my mother, and everything else. I took his hand in mine, anxiety pressing in on me as I pondered an answer. We were both silent for the longest time, unable to speak, before finally an idea came to my mind. It was in no way a guaranteed pass, but was anything? And in such an unusual situation?

"Perhaps," I murmured, trying to process the careful steps this would take. "We leave when the many others do. When here, the mansion is usually filled with many people waiting to offer their pain. When the time comes they usually leave all at once, especially when the majority of them are men. It would be quite normal to have a mass of people leaving. Surely, my mother wouldn't mind escorting you to the entrance to give a proper goodbye." I chewed my bottom lip, thinking further on this situation. "It isn't guaranteed, and we still have time to make other plans."

It wasn't guaranteed. I was beginning to question it, to be honest. This would take so much to work and I frowned at the aspect of getting caught. I looked up at him, unsure.

"What if this doesn't work? What if something goes wrong? I'm not worried about myself, but you – she could do something to you – because you are not of this bloodline. To betray this house is just _asking _to be sentenced. You'd be the one to pay for it in the end, and I couldn't live with it if something happened to you."

Again I had worked myself up, tears leaking out against my will. He shook his head quickly and cupped my face. "You worry too much." He said, placing a kiss on my forehead. "Do not worry. Everything will be fine. We have plenty of time to plan and work it out." He ran his thumbs under my eyes, wiping the stray droplets away, and I couldn't help but smile at it.

"We need to be more careful around each other. I am sure I am pregnant, though my mother will insist you come to my room at night just to make sure. We can only see other then. She's becoming aware that I have fallen for you, and have grown an attachment, and I don't want her suspicious that we are planning something." I mimicked his hands beneath my chin, cupping them before pulling them down and holding them in my careful grip.

"We just need to be more careful," I murmured gently, gazing up at him with a glassy gaze. He smiled at this and simply kissed me, a hand pressed over my stomach as he smiled into it. We'd find a way somehow. When I was around him, I felt nothing but time, and soon our plans would lead us to a wonderful future. In that moment, I thought I'd heard the creaking of a door from below, and the familiar scent of incense filling my nose.


	8. So I'll stay here in your Embrace

Fighter1106 – I'm glad to hear it! There is never enough to read!

Good evening/morning/afternoon! Whatever time it happens to be that you are reading this! Here is yet another chapter! I'm pretty into this story myself and if I'm rushing storyline wise, please let me know! Because the angst is gonna get high in these next few chapters, and Kyouka will, not yet of course, but eventually descend into a sort of crazy-like persona. Of course determining from the game, I assume she has lost a little bit of her marbles. I can't really blame her. I would lose it just from being trapped in a house all my life. Poor girl.

About the echo stone earrings, I'm _almost _positive I have the facts right. It threw my mind through a flip reading the history of it. So if it's wrong in anyway please tell me! If I get something wrong I want to be corrected so that it is accurate.

Also, here are the definitions for the names of the pacifiers/handmaidens. They are both my own OC's and are not in the fatal frame series.

_Ayako – __From Japanese__ (aya)__"colour",__(aya)__"design" or__ (aya)__"kimono design" combined with__ (ko)__"child"._

_Miyu -From Japanese (mi) "beautiful" or (mi) "truth" combined with (yu) "gentleness, superiority" or (yu) "tie, bind" or (yu) "evening"._

As usual, I love reviews! I don't even care if it's about the story! I just like knowing that people are in fact reading this and that I'm doing an O.K. job at least!

* * *

It had only been a few days when suddenly the signs of snow melting became clear. The cold flurries became less frequent, the frigid air the slightest bit warmer, and eventually you could see hints of sun behind the endless clouds. I felt my heart clench in my chest, a physical pain I'd never known of before meeting Akito. Could one be so attached to another? As if bonded both mentally and physically? I gazed down at my stomach carefully, knowing that the day was coming. It was rapidly approaching, and I saw Akito flash a sad smile to me from across the room. I tried to smile in return but couldn't.

* * *

My mind haunted me with terrible images when snow became less frequent. My stomach barely grew, still at the smallest extension, and because of my new silk kimonos I didn't even look pregnant. The past few days I had quickly lost track of, too indulged in the weather, and waiting anxiously for more snow to fall to pieces on the ground. When it didn't I would choke back a whimper that would suddenly claim my throat, and beg to the heavens with pleading eyes to rest in this eternal winter. I disliked winter with such passion, but if it meant Akito staying, I'd gladly succumb to the wintery air and melt into his heated embrace. He was the only warmth I needed. Him and our child.

* * *

The day finally came when snow refused to fall. It went from every day, to every other day, and then it scarcely came once in one weeks' time. Akito found me this way, standing beneath the cherry atrium tree and rubbing my stomach gently, my worried gaze boaring into the clouds. He said nothing. We didn't need to. It was quickly approaching now, and I finally turned, admiring the way his red-tinted kimono fit his body. It accented his form and I had to resist the urge to let my stare linger too long. Instead I focused on his own gaze, noting the way his eyes took in every part of my face, and lingered on my lips for the briefest of moments. We had been holding back with the contact when in the public eye. A few visitors passed every now and again, having given theirs and their loved ones pain to the priestess, leaving at least a little lighter. I wished I could leave so easily and counted to ten in my head, knowing that in less than a week they'd all leave. Snow had stopped falling, yes, but it had not melted. So it was alright for them to stay a little bit longer. Even so, I quietly remember that the priestess would fulfill her duty and the visitors were mostly gone.

The grey skies held a frigid atmosphere and froze the still freshly fallen snow. We had some time still, but not much. I gazed up at Akito when the others had left, frowning. He easily sensed my thoughts.

It had become a routine to worry every day, and of course, he was there to counter those worries. I counted my blessings that I hadn't cracked under the heavy gaze of my mother yet. I tried to focus, remembering the arrangements we had carefully pulled together in the time we spent.

"We will be together again, right?" I whispered softly, filled with so much worry I imagined it etched permanently into my face. His soft expression soothed my worry as he took my hand and placed a feather light kiss upon it.

"Of course," He maneuvered so his hand held mine, caressing it with gentle softness. "It is far too easy to become caught. I will return for you and our child when it is warmer. The path won't be so dangerous and your mother will be less suspicious of your intentions." He seemed so sure. I had to admit, the plan did seem pretty flawless, but I wondered how I'd stand being away from him.

I leaned into him, making sure we were in fact alone, before resting against his shoulder with both hands settled protectively on my stomach.

"Your plan is flawless, but still, I worry." I spoke honestly, breathing in the fresh snowy air. He settled for stroking my hair softly. At least, what hair was not pulled into a lavish style. I did it for him, since he commented me so much on my hair. I adored the way his gaze traveled over it and me, and found myself becoming vain when he was around. It also proved a wonderful distraction from the constant worries plaguing my very mind.

I tilted up, trying to undermine what lay beneath that expression he had. Usually he was so open, but instead, he had blocked himself away so that my mother would not see the hidden secrets. Regrettably, I was forced to suddenly push away when I heard the fall of footsteps, turning my head to gaze along the hall of where Ayako's room lay. A thud, I was certain, was what followed before the door opened and she stepped out. Her presence seemed so heavy and she had a permanent scowl etched into her face. She came towards us, so unaware it startled her when Akito made a slight noise and she looked to the two of us. Instantly she brightened, especially when her eyes fell on me, and bowed to both of us with a new light in her lovely orbs.

"Lady Kyouka, Sir Akito, it is wonderful to see you again." She breathed out quickly, a sudden eagerness to her step.

I smiled, as did Akito, and we bowed as well.

"It has been a few days hasn't it Ayako?" Akito spoke smoothly, to which the girl responded with a smaller but kinder smile.

"It has. I have been very busy with the priestess. It's been a very hard time for her as of late. The people's pain, I think she is just having trouble adjusting to it. I can't imagine how hard it must be to carry everyone's' burden…" She trailed off, immediately clamping both her tiny hands over her mouth. "I apologize Lady Kyouka. I have said too much. Please forgive me!" She bowed quickly, and I shook my head, imagining her as my own sister as I rubbed her shoulder. I didn't worry of Akito and I's posture here. Ayako was trustworthy.

"It is hard, I imagine, but it is also a very important honor. It is one chosen for the spirit that can handle it. Do not worry. I am sure she is just trying to adjust to all the emotions she suddenly has to carry, the pain and offerings of those who wish to be rid of it. So do not worry Ayako." I murmured gently, trying my best to relieve her own stress. I was currently drowning in my own worry, and the only relief would be to leave, so the least I could do was sooth the anxiety of the young girl before me.

A smile graced her lips, though it didn't touch her eyes, but nevertheless I knew she felt at least a little better. Another thud from somewhere had Akito and myself standing far away from each other, wary of any interactions, while Ayako glanced at us curiously before turning her attention to a new approaching figure.

Another pacifier emerged. Her gaze flickered around the rectangular area, generally in one area in particular. It scooped in her surroundings quickly and sparked when they met us. Her stare zeroed in on the girl standing next to me, her black eyes narrowing just the slightest.

"Ayako, it is your turn to watch over the priestess, and here you are being incompetent!"

Ayako flinched at those words and I frowned. I was far too eager to leave this place ad all of its inhabitants behind. The only exception seemed to be Ayako, but even so, it wasn't enough to keep me here.

The newest addition strolled towards us with a dominance not found easily in young girls her age. Her bangs hung straight across her forehead similar to Ayaoko's, but were far shorter and revealed her heated stare. Her hair hung just above her shoulders and was a faded dark brown. Looking closely I noted a small red ruby bell that matched her obi holding a small portion of hair behind one ear. I assumed her to be the head handmaiden, judging by the way she wore her attire with great pride, and in one hand carried a hammer. The head handmaidens, or pacifiers, were those in charge of the other three and chosen because of their dedication to their duties.

She stormed straight to the testy girl next to me, somehow able to look angry yet graceful. A frown seemed to be the only thing she was capable of expression wise. Ayako stood straight, slightly nervous, but prepared herself for the storm I assumed was coming. However, the shorter haired girl stood rigid before her and took a deep breath before speaking again.

"It is your turn to stay with the priestess Ayako." She casted a wary glance towards Akito, but continued on. "She is almost finished, and her final duty is to become fulfilled within the next few days. Therefore, it is important that we make sure she is cared to and focused entirely on her duty."

Ayako bowed quickly before the girl, murmuring a string of apologies. The older of the two just waved her hand, instantly dismissing the girl and turning to face Akito and myself. Her stare reminded me too much of my mother, the way she looked at me carefully, then over at Akito and back again. Her lips parted, her voice sounding uncharacteristically nice compared to moments before.

"I apologize. As you know Lady Kyouka, this mansion can be quite busy this time of the year. Interrupted plans are not a luxury we can afford at this time." I had to search for the girls name somewhere in the back of my mind, for I had only seen her once, _maybe _twice in this place. She clasped both hands together and bowed towards my desire, giving him a settle once over. She judged the way both my mother and grandmother judged, this was quite obvious. Akito did not seem bothered by it at least.

"I am Miyu Kuze. I am one of the four pacifiers within this place."

Akito bowed in return, smiling politely. "I am Akito Kashigawa. I am a guest of Kyouka's. It is an honor to meet you." She nodded and turned to stand by Ayako, both girls standing at the same height, and bowed once more.

"I am afraid we are needed elsewhere." Miyu spoke calmly, her eyes twinkling with nothing but mirth. Ayako nodded in agreement, smiling gently at me. "It was lovely seeing you again Lady Kyouka. You as well, Sir Akito." Something hostile appeared in Miyu's eyes, but it was gone so fast I didn't know whether or not it was my imagination. The two girls turned to leave, uncannily in sync and fled quickly through the double doors. I imagined Miyu would tear poor Ayako to pieces for forgetting her duties. Harsh girls were often chosen for the head pacifier's position. They needed to have strong morals, dedication and loyalty to what they did. When they were gone I looked over to Akito, reaching over to grab his hand once more.

The worries pulled in on me again and I suddenly wished Ayako was here with us once more. It was refreshing comforting another being rather than being the one comforted. I smiled, wondering how much likeness this child of mine would have. I was unsure, but I had no doubt, he'd have both wonderful sides of Akito and myself.

He could sense the anxiety in me. He gazed at me with a concerned stare, when suddenly he took my hand and smiled.

"I have a surprise for you." He smirked and tugged me by my hand, letting go when he was sure that I was following. I could only blink in response and let him lead me back to my chamber. He had learned his way in and out this this maze of a place. Though we scarcely visited the front, I had no doubt he knew every twist and turn in _this_ area of the mansion. He led me through the door and stair hall that led to my room, keeping our distance from one another, at least until we made it to the safety of my chamber. There we would do as we pleased. I smiled and leaned up on my toes to gently kiss him, his skin still frostbitten from the chilled air. It was always remarkably warm in my room. We had open windows in random places where snow would slowly drift in, decorating the wooden floor and soaking it to the point it was permanently ruined. No one appeared to mind this though.

The kiss was short and brief compared to our others, but sweet in its own right. I smiled up at him. I was going to savor these last moments together to the best of my ability. I constantly had to remind myself this was only temporary. I would stay here until warmer weather came, and then when the time was right, he'd come back for me. _For us_. Then we would be together. I imagined the small bundle in my arms as I went to the front of the mansion, carrying a vague excuse as to what my intentions were. Surely I wouldn't be stopped with my new child. They'd allow me to pass, assuming I was taking a simple stroll. It was something I did, though very, _very _few times. Akito ran his hands up and down my arms, warming my stiff limbs, then stepped back. He left towards the corner of the room where the items he had brought stayed. Nothing too extravagant. A camera, film, and other items I couldn't place. Clothes were provided for him here, so that lightened his luggage. He went to the bag and reached in carefully, pulling away only to return to my side.

I quirked an eyebrow, curious as to where this was leading.

"This is something I've had in my family. A treasure you could say." The hand holding the mysterious object clenched briefly, my curiosity rising as I looked up at him. "It's very important to my family. To _me_." I had to swallow at the emotion building. I could already see the item was severely important, and my heart fluttered at the thought that he was going to give it to me. Not the present itself, but the fact that he _trusted _me so deeply, had my heart racing in my chest. I never felt so important than in that moment. He recomposed himself, taking one of my hands and running his fingers on the inside.

"I want you to have this. It will be a piece of me for when I leave. While we are separated, carry this and think of me." He placed something small and delicate in my hand, a few strange looking pieces that I finally connected to be a set of earrings. Two sets, actually.

"My parents used to say if you listened carefully, you could hear the person's voice on the other end. Consider this a promise from me, that I will return for you and we will see the world. We'll be happy, and most importantly," He grasped my hands tightly, the atmosphere around us suddenly heavy. "That we will always be together."

I felt the tears leak from my eyes and smiled at him. Those simple words made me so happy, made me feel so wonderful, and I suddenly felt the doubts fade from my mind. Something about him could make me feel so safe and protected. The gift lay in my hand and I curled my fingers around them gently, afraid to lose such precious cargo. His hands came to hover over mine, encasing the one in a solid hold. The motion reminded me of a fortress, a place where nothing could penetrate, where even the weak could stay and live without fear. If someone were to tell me that I had planned on living with a man that I had conceived with, I would have certainly laughed. Now, here I was, already planning to leave. I needed nothing from this place. Perhaps a pin or two would be nice, but all I needed I had already planned on taking. I held the gift he gave tightly to my chest then, my heart skipping a beat from the emotions swelling within me.

I sniffled and ran a hand across my eyes, turning towards my mirror stand. A small box sat there. It was small and lovely, and made to hold small things. The earrings were perfect for it. With nimble fingers I grabbed a pin and unlocked the drawer, hugging them to my chest once more before placing them inside. I didn't want anything to happen to such a gift. Then I turned with a small smile, going to him and holding both hands. "I'll take great care." I vowed, grasping his hands tightly in my own.

He promised to come back for me. For us. Then, together we could see the entire world. I wanted to see the ocean first, the beautiful endless water that I had imagined a thousand different times. So much water in such a place. How did such things exist?

He leaned down, cupping my face and kissing me again, a more passionate than the last. We stayed in my room like that until the evening fell, and even then, we never let go of each other.


	9. Until Winters turn into Springs

A lot of emotional feels in the coming chapters. You have been warned.

Fighter1106 –Haha I know right? She's all "You came baaaack~" and poor Kei is all "Wut." Lol. But in all seriousness I feel bad for her. She just wanted to be with him in the end. It becomes sadder when Amane and Kaname come into the picture. I think I might cry when I have to write about her giving him away. D8 I almost cried writing this chapter. Because it's like, you know what happens, and you're just sitting here all "MAH FEELLSSSS."

I also plan on character development in here, such as with each handmaiden in the game, since her daughter becomes one and Shigure is assigned to care for her. My oc's I didn't really assign certain duties.

* * *

Today is the day.

That was the mantra continuously repeating in my head.

Today is the day.

I tried to make it stop but my thoughts always turned to this again. I knew today was the day, I absolutely knew, but even so my mind couldn't stop reminding me of this fact. I looked to Akito's things with a sad gleam in my eye. He had already packed the day before, so that we had more time to spend with each other. As he did I couldn't help but sink into despair. I knew he was coming back for me, but I had a bad feeling of all this. He, as usual, assured me that everything would be fine. To calm down I imagined the warm spring air that would soon follow. The warm weather would cheer me up when it finally came.

We shared another kiss before I led him away from my room. He was wearing the kimono he had arrived in. It was a simple dark blue, but it fit him so wonderfully, and I smiled at how handsome he always seemed to be. No one stood with us at this moment so I took his hand in mine. Everyone else had begun to leave, and as such, I decided to escort him to the front of the mansion. I wanted to be with him as long as I could. I longed to be with him. We turned into the four intersection hallway, the deeper part of the mansion, so empty as per usual. Once we crossed the connecting outside gap, containing the graves of shrine carpenters, more people were sure to be there. We took our sweet time of course, and often brought up things we had done in each area a while ago. No one could say our time together was wasted, for we spent the majority of the beginning exploring this creaking house.

We both would smile at each other when something was brought to our attention. My fingers tightened briefly ever now and then as we moved closer to the front, and I had tor resist the tearful sighs wanting to escape me. I was determined to make this happy.

This would be a happy goodbye. No, no not a goodbye. It would simply be an 'I'll see you again.'

I would see him again. I absolutely would, and I repeated this in my own head as we passed many shrine carpenters. A handmaiden stood there watching them, and we had disconnected our hands long ago. I finally noted that it was Ayako, but her hair was styled a bit differently today. She looked so serious in her work, so I decided not to interrupt or bother her as I led Akito down the halls. I still frowned at the carpenters' fate. It was worse that they I _knew _what was to happen. As we left a few gazed curiously at us, while others simply ignored our presence, too absorbed in what they were doing. I remembered never telling Akito about them. I saw it now in his eyes, his curious gaze once again penetrating mine. He deserved to know but I didn't want him too. To my dismay I heard him speak as we exited the hallway and entered a small room with stairs.

"What are the purposes of the shrine carpenters?"

I had told him what they were known as, but not what they did. I finally sighed and looked down. I supposed there was no way to avoid it now, and I mine as well inform him of their fate. He knew everything else about this mansion.

"They are people chosen to help build the place. Do you remember those graves?"

He nodded at this, wondering where this was headed.

"Once they have done their job they are to be buried. Alive. A handmaiden is responsible for making sure they do not try and escape." Akito seemed to register this a moment and he paled slightly.

"It's a horrible tradition." I continued, a soft whisper so no one heard. "I don't like it. I don't know if I candle handle this much longer." Honestly, I could. It just drove me crazy thinking that things were different outside this place. From the stories he told me, our traditions seemed incredibly harsh to others.

He smiled gently at me and twirled a strand of hair around his fingers. I had left it down today, to nerve wracked to even consider putting it up. I also wanted him to remember me like this. Like when he first saw me.

"Soon you won't have to." He reassured, pulling my head over to lean on his chest and wrapping his arms around my form. I smiled as his scent filled me, erasing the terrible thoughts consuming my mind and wrapped my arms around him. We would be together again. He promised. He said he'd come back for me, but still, I worried about it. What if someone found out? What if he didn't come back? I gazed up at him expectantly, taking in every feature and burning it into my memory.

The rest of the world was momentarily forgotten as he gazed down at me, a gentle expression crossing his features. I hadn't seen such a gentle expression in days. I missed it so and I would certainly miss it when the snow fully melted. Even now I heard hear the soft whispers of the wind, slowly but surely fading away into a warm breeze. Inwardly, I was torn by this. I loved the weather when it was warm. It was a different sensation compared to the feeling inside this mansion and made me at least a little happy. On the other hand, Akito was preparing to leave because of the cold. I frowned at such an aspect, wondering why I couldn't have both in this selfish moment.

I tilted my head to place a single soft kiss on his lips before pulling away, knowing if it went any further I'd be unable to cope with him leaving. So instead I led him up the stairs and down another set, where more people began to appear. Many souls stood here in the uneasy silence, though it was in no way awkward, when I heard a familiar voice chime my name. I turned to see my mother there, standing out in the mass of people. The hall here was quite narrow, yet somehow, there seemed to always be room. I approached her and bowed, Akito mimicking my moves.

"Good morning, mother." I voiced gently, the unease twisting my stomach into knots.

She gazed down at me, an eyebrow raised as she appraised me a moment before finally speaking. "Good morning Kyouka. Sir Akito, I do hope you enjoyed your stay here." She watched him warily, calculating, as she had been the past few weeks. I felt the urge to turn him away but knew that would arise more suspicion. Before he could even make a sound she had turned back to me, continuing with her speech.

"Kyouka, it is very unlike you to escort your _visitors_," Her eyes gazed over at Akito before returning to me. "To the front of the mansion." She finished, awaiting my answer. I felt a slight shudder at the way she looked at me and smiled, trying to appear at ease.

"Akito has been very good to me. I should at least return the favor and give a proper goodbye."

A moment passed before she nodded. She smiled though it did not touch her eyes and appraised the two of us carefully.

"I have raised you well. He is a lucky man to experience such manners from a lovely lady as yourself. He should realize the honor he has had." She met his eyes for a brief second before turning to look at entrance, narrowing her eyes at the men in particular. The women she wasn't as worried about. This was a female-strict place, and having men here when the snow melted was something that wouldn't be tolerated. He piercing gaze shot through many of the men, mainly those who hung back or were slower than the rest, but then hurried when they found her stare transfixed upon them and quickened their pace. I would have laughed, but I knew what it was like under her scrutiny, and instead I envied them for not having to be under her constant watch. They were able to leave, unlike me.

I gazed at them then at Akito, knowing she would scold me for standing around for too long if I didn't do something. I quickly bowed to her.

"It is time for Akito to leave. I shall escort him to the entrance." I murmured softly.

She nodded, her eyes roaming over Akito's form. He bowed as well, even boldly stepping forward, and spoke in a soft tone.

"I am honored that you allowed me to stay here. You have my sincerest thanks."

Mother smirked at this and nodded, lowering her head to him politely.

"I am glad you enjoyed your stay. It is pleasant to meet such a polite man." Suddenly her voice grew quiet and I barely caught the last thing she said. "Do enjoy your life. It can be quite short, and sometimes can end abruptly." I blinked at her, as did Akito, but she returned to normal and smiled at us gently.

"I believe you have a young man to escort Kyouka, yes? You may leave the mansion, but _do not _leave the grounds." She warned, and beckoned for us to proceed. I nodded, a little interested that she was letting me leave the front entrance. I wasn't forbidden; it was more of a special privilege, something I was welcomed to do only on certain occasions. The first days of spring and summer were a good example, as was now. I was honestly surprised she did not escort him herself, seeing as how I usually led the men that stayed with me to where the shrine carpenters were, then gave them directions so that they may proceed on their own accord.

I tried not to let the fact that she was watching me like a hawk bother me. It was a hard thing indeed, but when we left through the large doors I took a deep breath of the still cold air. Akito smiled over at me with a gentle grace upon his lips, the two of us feeling better away from my mother's heated gaze.

We didn't touch, hug, nor kiss. We simply gazed at each other knowingly, a bittersweet moment to the air around us. We knew we were parting, but not for long. Still, it would be a little while before I saw him again and I would deeply miss him in that time. I proceeded to walk him to the front entrance of the place. It was a large, spacious area, and I stopped when I could go no further. When my mother said to not leave the grounds she was quite serious, and would always know if I stepped a single toe out of it. I learned this well and made the footsteps precise so that I stopped exactly at the spot, Akito turning to look at me with a sad expression, understanding. Many people passed us without a second glance, others looking at me curiously, as I was a rare sight to see outside. We all were, as we didn't really leave. Things were brought to us and delivered by those in the village. I imagined it was like seeing a flower in the snow when one of us was outside.

I desired so much to run and hug him then, to kiss him, to hold his hand and tell him how much I would miss him in this time. That would be very unladylike in the eyes of these people, and risky in the gaze of my mother. In the mansion was one thing, outside was an entirely different matter, and with my mother so close. I couldn't tell him that it felt like I'd never see him again. I felt as if this were goodbye but shook those thoughts away. I was letting my mind worry far too much and needed to stop it.

When the lines of people slowed I finally dared to voice my inner turmoil. We had been staring at each other, unable to speak with so many others around. The snow slushed under my feet, not quite melted but not entirely frozen either. The air was cold and crisp, my cheeks felt frozen, and I finally found myself able to speak.

"You will come back, right?" I whispered, the tone nothing but a gentle caress on the wind. His eyes softened and he tilted his head, looking adorable.

"Of course I will. I promised, didn't I?"

I pursed my lips and nodded, looking down. I felt ashamed for doubting him. I couldn't quite help it though. I felt so unsure and unconfident knowing that he was leaving.

"You did," I murmured, gazing at the mud and snow covering the ground. It was almost gone now. As was Akito. Of course, he'd come back for me, like the snow comes back every winter. He finally smiled and took a step forward to caress my hair.

"Do not worry, my dear Kyouka. I _will _come back. For both you _and_ our child." His sureness always struck me with the motivation I needed. I nodded, taking another deep breath to calm my nerves. The breath escaped in a small fog, the air still cold.

"I shall await your return," I spoke softly, afraid my mother was watching us even through the doors. "Then we will see the world together." He smiled at this.

"You will look beautiful standing next to an ocean. Of course, the ocean will have nothing compared to your beauty." I blushed at the remark, though it also could have been he cold getting to my cheeks. Either way he grinned at my reaction and reached into his back, pulling his camera out.

"I'd like one more keepsake. You do look beautiful with your hair done up," He paused, raising the camera. It flashed against the grey morning sky and lingered in my eyes. "But your natural beauty suits you more." I giggled and looked down, and as he stashed his camera away, he took a step back.

"I'll come back for you." He vowed. I could only nod, my heart breaking with each step he took away from me. I was so tempted to follow after him. It would be so easy, but I couldn't. I wasn't too strong physically, and to top it off I was pregnant. I wouldn't last the slippery inclines and I'd surely slow him down if I followed. We had talked of this many times, though he was as reluctant as I was to leave me here. But it was for the best in the end.

"We'll be waiting for you." I placed my hands over my stomach, my silk red kimono melting into my body with softness I dreamed impossible.

He took another step away then finally turned, the last image of his face that beautiful soft expression I loved. Surprisingly, I smiled as he descended the snowy slope back into the village. He would be back again for me. I was proud that I didn't break down crying, and I stood there long after he had left. I thanked the heavens he did not turn around, for if he did, I might have run after him.

I finally convinced myself to head back inside after a good time had passed. My hands still rested lovingly over my stomach, knowing that staying out in the cold wouldn't do either of us good. I headed back inside to find fewer people than before. Many had left, including my mother, who normally stayed in the hall until all the men left. I assumed her to be busy with someone, as she was chosen to pick the next priestess. With the unusual quiet settling in I decided to head back to my chamber, hoping that spring would approach quickly.

* * *

And here's just one of the heartbreaking chapters! *Sobs in corner* Anyywayyy. Almost ten chapters! It's lucky if I get four chapters to be completely honest, but I'm really into this story right now. I hope you are all enjoying it!


	10. A Piece will always Stay

So I'm super excited. I wrote a story a little over a year ago, and it's my first original story I've been putting a lot of time into, and I just recently found it on an old flash drive after losing it on my latptop. Thank you to whoever invented flash drives.

I also have a question. A very weird and random one so bear with me. But is my writing too descriptive? I mean, I can honestly go into a ramble about something and lose track of what the topic was. I have gotten better about it. I do it a lot because I write descriptive poems, and I was wondering if I should lessen it or keep writing the way I do. I'm honestly curious. But love you all and thank you for the reviews! I'm also looking up other things to write stories for. I've been doing nothing but fatal frame and harper's island mainly, so I'm trying to expand! :,D

There's also a scene in here where she gives birth, so beware those with uneasy stomachs.

* * *

The next few weeks passed rather slowly, the quiet unusually unnerving without Akito here. I had grown so accustomed to the quiet. When Akito showed up in my life, I discovered that the same silence wasn't something I actually enjoyed. In fact I loathed it.

Gently I held the earrings he gave me in my hand, tracing the designs of it carefully. I wanted to be with him, and if this small separation was payment for it, then I would last. I smiled down at my stomach. It was more obvious that I was pregnant now and I found myself beaming whenever the being inside me kicked.

However, my concern grew as much as my stomach did. My mother constantly commented on what a beautiful granddaughter she would be. Would she really disown him if it were a boy? Of course she would. What a silly question. I rubbed my stomach soothingly when it kicked again, unable to help the giggle. The snow had long ago melted and the men here had left. The mansion was once more filled with a serene quiet that rested in the place, and I stood suddenly, eager to go outside and wash myself in the warm air. Though the temperature was less chilled, it still wasn't quite spring. It was close, as was I. Soon my child would be born. I just knew. Still, I feared that it would be a male.

I would chide myself immediately, having to constantly remind myself that I would be leaving before having to give up the child. Still, I frowned, looking down at my stomach. I feared my baby being torn from my hands, and that I wouldn't be able to make it to Akito in time.

"It's alright. Your father will come back for us." I had to smile at that.

Akito was his father.

"He'll take us away from this place, and we'll be together again." I felt a movement and grinned brightly.

What was I worrying for? He would be coming back for us soon and we'd be together. I stood carefully, having to push myself up with the help of my dresser. In that moment a sound came from the door. A gentle knock and I only could guess who it was.

"Come in," I spoke, and in came a familiar figure clad in white and red. Ayako smiled at me, though it didn't touch her eyes. She actually frowned, as did I, as our gazes met the others.

"Lady Kyouka. I hope you are well today?" She asked politely.

I nodded and beckoned her over, pushing a few strands of hair behind her ear. She looked so tired lately. I imagine staking the priestess down, along with making sure the shrine carpenters did their job, took a mental toll on her. She smiled gently and stood closer, almost clinging to me.

Like a worrying mother I fluttered my hands across her outfit and hair, fixing the little things that looked messy.

She and I had grown close in the past few weeks. It was nice having someone there. She placed a single hand gently on my stomach with a grin, but it faltered just as quickly. She pulled her hand away with a hesitant look.

"I-I have to leave the shrine soon." She finally mumbled. She looked away quickly. I looked at her in surprise, taking a moment for it to register before I found my words.

"I thought you were to stay here with us? That my mother adopted you?" She smiled a bit, clasping her hands in front of her.

"That was the plan but…she found a family who has no children, but they are looking to adopt." She smiled a bit and shrugged, our formality having been thrown out the window weeks ago.

"I don't know if I should be happy or sad. I mean- it's a family- but what if they don't like me…?"

She gazed at me with worry, stressing her bottom lip as she looked to me for advice.

"Oh Ayako, don't be silly." I pulled her to me so that I could hug her.

It was a bit awkward, for she had to maneuver her hands around my expanding belly. Even then her arms didn't fit. I ran my hand through her hair, noting the jeweled accessory I had given her during the winter. I felt my heart clench with emotion and squeezed her tighter.

"They will absolutely love you, I'm positive."

It was true. Ayako was such a sweet girl with a bold personality. She'd be adored. She smiled gently, a bit relieved, and went to resting her head on my stomach. She squeaked soon after; chime filled giggles fell from her lips.

"I think he tried to hug me!" She laughed and pressed a hand on the same spot, her eyes lighting up when she felt a small kick.

She wrapped her arms around my belly with a gentle smile, speaking softly.

"You're lucky. You will have Kyouka as a mother."

I felt my heart flutter in response and smiled at the girl.

I felt trapped in a strange surreal dream where I simply watched. I still couldn't imagine bearing a child. It wasn't that I did not want to, but that it just appeared so suddenly, and now I felt as if I were watching it from far off. The only things to shock me back into reality were the pains that came with the pregnancy.

Ayako tilted her head to look up at me, growing suddenly serious in that fleeting moment, her childish wonder washing away.

"Were you thinking of Sir Akito again?" She gave a knowing smile, the casual subject dropped and I just huffed at her.

I didn't understand how she could go from so sensitive and shy to a complete opposite character. She cocked a brow when I didn't immediately answer. I saw in those depths true and genuine concern. She did so well to hide her true feelings.

I left her out of Akito's and I plans. She had no idea I was to leave soon. I wasn't going to wrap her up in this when she had a possible family waiting for her, either. I only smiled at her.

"Yes. I was thinking of him again." I replied honestly.

Her gaze softened, though that slyness still sat there, and she came to my side.

"But…he is gone. If you continue thinking of him I'm sure Lady Yashuu will notice. It will only hurt you if you keep thinking of him." Again I was floored by her attention to detail.

Just a moment ago she had been near tears, as shy and timid as she relieved onto me her fears. Now she stood here giving me advice about love. I laughed, though it was hollow and nearly soundless, and gazed at her.

"I know. It will take time. I will eventually forget him, so do not worry."

I felt so bad for lying. Still, she couldn't be dragged into this. Instead I tucked more hair behind her ear and she smiled up at me.

"It is alright. Time lessens all pain." She rubbed my stomach again.

"I will be fine; do not worry about me Ayako. You should be focusing on you new family." I glanced at the bags beneath her eyes.

She shrugged. "I was on my way to my chamber, but I was worried about you. You haven't been out of your room as much."

"I'm hardly ever out of my room." I easily countered. She pouted and crossed her arms.

"I mean more than usual. You seem so…out of it lately," Her worried gaze caught mine and she frowned. "I feel like something is wrong and your hiding something. You can tell me anything."

I sighed and turned, sitting down at my dresser and brushed a comb through my hair. It took longer to sit because of my belly. Akito would want to see my hair brushed and beautiful.

"Nothing is wrong Ayako," I spoke harshly. "You are a child, so not worry about the affairs of others." A hurt look crossed her face. I felt guilty but continued brushing. She couldn't be dragged into this.

"I may be a child but I _am_ mature for my age." She came to stand behind me, staring at me through the reflecting glass. "You just don't want to tell me." She accused, a flash of anger lighting her eyes.

I looked down, inwardly cursing her observance. She noticed and smiled. It vanished just as quickly, still looking hurt from the earlier comment.

"I'm right. Aren't I?"

I sighed. She wasn't going to stop pestering me about it.

"You are right. I don't want to tell you. It could potentially affect the arrangements with your family, and even put your life at risk."

She blinked in surprise. She strolled to my side quickly and sat down by the side of the mirror, a sudden fear in her eyes. Everything I said now completely forgotten.

"Lady Kyouka, what are you planning? Whatever it is there must be something else you can do. You know the rules better than anyone! If it backfires it could also put your life at risk! You may be the daughter of Lady Yashuu, but she will in no way take mercy on her own blood! If anything she will be harsher! And what of your child? What will happen to them?!"

I expected such protest. She was a pacifier after all. They were the most honorable and dedicated to their duties.

"I am aware of the consequences Ayako." I spoke gently. Her horrified expression only grew.

"L-Lady Kyouka..."

"Please. Do not ask what it is I am planning. I will not drag you into this." She only blinked in response and reluctantly nodded.

"Just…please be careful." She whispered, her hands clasped in her lap. Her body was shaking slightly, and I resisted the urge to hug her.

"…Are you sure? Whatever it is you're doing- I just-" She paused to let her voice even out. "-I don't want anything bad to happen to you. Or your baby."

"I am sure. This is what is best." I answered immediately. "I'm absolute in my decision. I understand that my child is at risk too but… Ayako, what if it's not a girl?"

She recoiled at that and bit her lip. She said nothing. She didn't need to. I read her eyes and saw the emotion. She knew what happened to male heirs.

"Exactly. So please, do not worry," I assured. "I will be careful so do not fret."

I smiled at her but she still seemed unsure. She simply looked away with a worry tainted haze surrounding her features, and nodded. I knew that even this little explanation could cause her trouble. She didn't know anything though, so neither my mother nor anyone could use it against her.

"Just- I mean – Please, _please _be careful Lady Kyouka." She begged.

"Don't worry," I giggled, nudging her chin to look up at me. "Now, you need to go rest yourself so that you are refreshed and decent."

She grinned sheepishly and looked down at the floor, but stood with a graceful swiftness.

"Perhaps. Do…do you really think this family will like me?" She twiddled her fingers, her head down but eyes adorable and cast up towards me.

"Of course," I smiled and nudged her. "Don't be so fearful. They will love you."

"Promise?" She breathed hopefully.

"Promise." I smiled.

With that she bowed and quickly went off to have a decent sleep.

* * *

_Two weeks later_

I couldn't stop the hurt from growing. My stomach felt so sore from the pressing body within. Everything between my head and feet hurt.

I could only imagine what pain I would be in, but I never imagined it _this _bad. My mother smiled down at me and nestled a hand against my forehead. It was so odd to see her so cheerful.

Of course it wasn't for me. It was for the new heir. My grandmother stood off to the side, her only plan to apparently watch from the side until the child was born.

"She will be gorgeous." My mother smiled at me.

I was splayed across the floor, my hair spread across the ground like a carpet and shining from the perspiration across my body. I couldn't find the care to worry about my appearance. Everything just hurt and I wanted it to stop. A pillow had been placed under me but its usefulness lasted only a few moments.

Everything about me look terrible, I assumed.

I could only imagine how I looked to other people.

"Everything will be fine Kyouka." My mother soothed, pushing a few strands of hair out of my face. "I need you to breathe deeply and push."

I did exactly that and screamed. It hurt even worse. My mother cooed softly down at me. I was aware of a few others presence, as they were holding my legs apart and ready to catch the being. My mother patted my head with something damp and murmured more words. In all my life I had never heard her so kind and it surprised me. I wanted her to stop.

She instructed to push again, and once more I screamed, the exertion leaving me breathless and gasping.

Something painful throbbed in my lower regions and I swear I heard something tear. My mother noticed and petted my forehead, her fingers unusually cold against it. It felt like it burned it was so cold.

"It's alright. This is normal. It's going to hurt but it will stop, so do not worry. Just focus on breathing and pushing."

I really had no choice in the matter. I felt a small bump between my legs and could only guess what was happening. I had been told of such things happening during pregnancies, but knowing didn't exactly help.

I pushed again and it felt it sliding further and further out. Black spots danced across my vision and I lost sight of what was happening for a few moments.

"Stay with us Kyouka. Not too much longer now." I heard a murmur. Again I pushed and relief suddenly washed over me, so wonderful I felt my head spinning. I just now realized how tired I was. I couldn't fall asleep yet. I had to see my child.

I heard a gasp followed by a baby's cry. It took all my effort to lift my head. I quickly lay back against the pillow beneath me, flattened from pushing against it so much. There was a considerable amount of blood across the floor and I realized the red liquid was what was causing my spinning mind. Both the lack of it in my body and the smell of it. Apparently the strange fluid didn't agree with me.

Still, I had to stay awake. I heard the baby cry louder and tried to pinpoint where it was coming from. My mother noticed the struggle and wrapped her arms carefully around me and held my upper part up. I slumped in her arms slightly, unable to find the energy to even sit myself up.

My mother looked a tad distraught and I noted the whispering hushes bouncing across the room. Why wouldn't they let me see my child?

I saw my grandmother's form glide across the floor, cringing when she stepped in the excess that littered across my room.

She appeared too engaged to notice as she approached my mother. I could only see the small forms head peaking from behind her arms. She glared at me temporarily before leaning in to whisper to my mother.

I didn't catch whatever it was she had whispered. My gaze was too fixated on the pink stained bundle in her arms. It was wrapped in a blanket though it still cried. I reached out for it. I was too drawn to it to remember my manners. I just needed them in my arms.

My grandmother's eyes narrowed slightly at me but relented. She set the wiggling person in my arms gently and quickly withdrew, like it was a snake poised to bite her.

I chuckled when the cries ceased, the baby making its home in my own arms.

"Hello," I croaked. It nestled deeper into my form, like they knew I was its mother, and I smiled.

I tried to ignore the constant black dots spinning across my vision and the tiredness invading my form. I didn't want to sleep just yet. I just met my child. I wanted more time with them.

My mother noticed and took the baby from my arms, gently laying me back down. I frowned when I saw her expression. She had been so happy and now she seemed – upset. She nestled the bundle back into the arms of my grandmother. I attempted to protest but I was fading quickly.

The exhaustion was taking its toll on me and I barely heard my mother suddenly speak.

"It's a boy."

I think I was the only one not disappointed. I would have been happy with either gender, and already had a name picked out.

"…Kaname." I barely managed to whisper.

My mother simply nodded, disappointed, but I was too lost in euphoria to care. I quickly fell into a deep sleep, dreaming of Akito's face when he saw we had a son together.

* * *

Oh mah gerd, chapter 10. Sorry, this is a big achievement for me!


	11. I'll wait for you Beneath the Skies

Thank you for all responding to my question! We're in for an epic snow here, so that means nothing but hot chocolate and writing with my friend! She's staying here, so we're making a mess of the house, and destroying all the food like the bottomless pits we are, lawl. I'm changing the way I write a bit, as I feel I'm writing too, erm, past tense? So this chapter may seem a bit jumpy. Or I'm just being paranoid and too critical of myself.

Zephyr's Voice - Thanks! I'm not too worried if people read this or not. Yes it would be nice, but so long as I'm enjoying it, I'm alright with just a few. Writing is my way of de-stressing so it's nice either way. I did have trouble wording in the last one. But I shall begin looking it over and editing it!

Heart's Replacement – I'm so glad you loved it! And it's completely understandable to have writers block! Just work up your inspiration and find something good, then just let your hands do the work! I love your new name by the way!

Curious Reader – Thanks so much for the input! I thought I did something wrong with them. As you noticed I had a little trouble with that. This is actually my first time doing a first person POV, so I'm still getting the hang of it and all. But that was the main part I was confused about and wasn't sure if 'it' was appropriate, seeing as he is a person and such, so thank you!

* * *

I smile tenderly down at the small being. It had been only three days, but I feel so attached to this baby. He was mine, mine ad Akito's, and nothing in the world could change that. I still felt the soreness of the birthing ache over my body, but as long as I had this beautiful being in my arms I could let it slip from my mind.

"Kaname," I whispered against his cheek, placing a soft kiss there.

Akito will be so happy at this. Tomorrow was the first day of spring, though the warm weather had started coming a week ago. Officially it would not begin until tomorrow.

Then everything would change for the better. Akito and I would leave together with our newborn, and see the world. I ran the back of my hand against his cheek, humming random lullabies that filled my heart. I felt I could never love him enough. That every precious moment spent together would never be enough.

I imagined the wonderful life he would lead, the woman he would marry, and perhaps a brother or sister he'd grow to protect. A person who could look up to him.

I smiled at the memory and bounced him in my arms. He blinked at me with those beautiful brown eyes, those orbs my mother detested because they were not of the girl she had hoped for.

"It's alright," I cooed softly. "You'll always be loved. Do not worry."

He giggled when I tickled his stomach, soon followed by a wide yawn. I smiled and rocked him in my arms more, enjoying our walk through the cherry atrium as I lulled him into a dream induced sleep. His eyes gazed at the sky sleepily before shutting finally, the petals on the tree beginning to blossom.

I detested it. In only had four potentials, the capabilities of bearing each season in its growth, but even this could not stop it from keeping a consistent and simple pattern going. Every year it was the same thing, no matter what.

Kaname long into his sleep snoozed happily in my arms as I went to the tree. It symbolized so much in that moment, and I feared it more than anything. I feared being stuck here, in this shrine, this mansion, this desolate place stuck in the same pattern over and over again.

I clutched a bit tighter to the bundle in my arms. He had made me so happy in these few three days and I clung onto such happiness. Ayako had left long ago to her family, not without a proper goodbye, but I had to hold back the tears at her leaving. I had grown accustomed to her presence that it was incredibly lonely when she left.

Kaname fidgeted within my grasp and I returned to rocking, smiling when a small noise escape from his small lips.

I tried not to leave him if I could at all help it. My grandmother looked upon him with such disdain, and though my mother seemed to express slight care for her new grandson, it didn't interfere with her duty. She would assist, but nothing more. No singing, no coddling, not a thing.

It hurt, but I dare not say a thing.

So soon that peacefulness ended when a shift in the air flew over our forms. The air had been quite silent and filled with a certain serenity. That moment was now broken and I stared at the tree, urging it to somehow give me answers to questions never to be spoken aloud.

I allowed a smile to the willowing branches covered in many a straw doll and quickly made escape to my room.

I'd been walking around with the baby constantly and it was stressing on my mentality, unused to being out of my room so often. It needed to be done. I needed to appear excited about the child in my arms and walk around like the sun finally shined its light down on me. My mother would no doubt notice, as well as many others, if I were to suddenly be giddy and happy in one day. Walking through parts of the shrine I never walk through either. It was too suspicious. So I smiled, and grinned, and beamed until the feeling in my face left and felt strange.

To make matters worse my body was still so sore and tender from Kaname's birthing. I grimaced when I finally made way to my room, settling Kaname in his wraps of blankets and sitting next to him with a small groan. Really, this pain was almost intolerable. _Almost. _I could bear it, if only for my dear son sleeping before me. I smiled down at his form and hummed in a soft tone. He slept better when I somehow voiced myself. I tucked him in his blankets further. Keeping him as warm as possible. I thanked the heavens that it was warmer and didn't have to worry about him freezing during the icy nights of winter. I could carry him with me to the outer limits of the mansion without worrying of the temperatures.

I ran a hand gingerly across the young boy's forehead. He was indeed, very beautiful. Though he sprouted barely a hair and still had not developed fully, I knew he was graced with Akito's best qualities. I silently hoped he would have hair as beautiful as mine. Akito complimented it so much that I finally believed it to be as lovely as silk.

I smile when his arms moved in response to my touch, returning to his deep slumber. A throat cleared from somewhere behind me and I turned to appraise my mother. She had caught me off guard, and I faltered, wondering how long she had been standing there while I dreamt the day away. As usual she came in without a word, simply moving to hover beside me and stare down the sleeping child.

"I came to see if you needed a break." She began, taking in my expression.

She frowned and shook her head. I heard the beginnings of a lecture in those words and sighed inwardly, standing to face her.

"I know he is your child, but I do not want to see you become _too_ attached to him."

I sensed the hidden concern in them and nodded.

"I know, really, I do, but-"

"But nothing, Kyouka!" She quickly interrupted.

I flinched when her voice rose in volume, realizing she had been holding back for appearances sake while Akito had been staying. "He _is _a male and no matter what, the rules will not be broken. Not for you and certainly not for anyone else!" She scolded, and pointed towards Kaname like he was a disease. "Getting attached is not an option. Male heirs are not allowed here and will be killed. I have told you this many a time and he is _no _exception."

I felt a tear slip and her gaze softened, but she didn't falter in her lecture.

"I'm sorry Kyouka. You know the rules of this place and of all who live here, _you _should realize this."

I sighed and looked to the ground, irritated and upset. I knew this. I did, but how could someone not get attached to their child? She asks such impossibility's. No one can be so emotionless.

My mother clucked her tongue and sharp fingers lifted my chin up.

"We do not look down when we are talking with people." She reproved.

"Yes, mother." I murmured softly, wishing she would leave. I tried to pay attention but I would be leaving tomorrow, and it was hard to push away the rebellious feeling growing.

I glanced back at the sleeping child, so innocent to the world around him. How nice it must be to be unaware of the world around you. My mother sighed and clasped her hands together, appraising me while I stared longingly at my child.

"How is it possible to _not _become attached?" I ponder this thought curiously, not realizing until too late I had said it out loud.

My mother had to understand this on some level. She had _me _after all. She caught my gaze again and frowned sympathetically.

"This is your first child. The first ones are hardest, I assure you. You have to not let yourself get attached. While you are pregnant, don't allow feelings to get in the way. You made the mistake of becoming attached to that man, and in return you are attached to his child as well." I shook my head but she continued, regardless of my silent protesting.

"Don't deny that what I saw had been my imagination. I'm not a fool, Kyouka, and I do have eyes." Her tone turned highly disapproving and she sized me up. It didn't take much, considering she was already taller than my short form and I'm quite the obedient girl. At least I used to be.

"I did warn you to not become attached emotionally to any man. We are here to serve the shrine and its inhabitants, nothing more." She scolded, turning away. "You do have until he is of four years to be with that child. No more and no less. He is to be ridden of, as all man are." She turned and glided towards the door, turning back to face me.

"Do not fret. That man- Akito – You no longer have to worry about him. Consider him permanently gone." Her tone was dark and my wide eyes settled on her, curious as to what she meant. She simply smiled and left the room, while I stood dumbfounded and trying to decipher such meaning.

* * *

My muscles were tense as I approached the door. A gaze or two swept over me but regarded me with nothing more than a wary eye. Again Kaname rested in my arms, the earrings given to me tucked into his blanket so no one would be the wiser.

I gently shushed him when he made a noise, a few irritated glares cast our way. I was positive it wasn't the noise that caused such heated stares. He was a boy, a male who was in here when no men were allowed to be here. It did not matter that he was just a baby. He still counted in such strict conditions. I flew by them faster. Akito was waiting for me out there, waiting to take us away, and lead us into entirely different lives. I even went to my mother, speaking that I wanted to take him out front to see the sky better. Somehow, she approved, but with a knowing smirk plastered across her features.

It appeared dark and disconcerting, and I wondered what had set such a disturbed look to cross her. I pulled myself back quickly, feeling that dark look follow me even from behind many walls. It was no matter. He was waiting for me.

He would take me away.

He'd lead me away from this life and the three of us would be one.

I smiled at Kaname. Soon, it would all happen soon. I reached the front of the mansion and pushed through the doors. It seemed that just yesterday we had been standing in the slushed snow, the contents mixing with the dirt and mud that lied beneath. I remembered the cold biting my skin, the way the frosted air hung over his lips, how I had to resist the urge to drag him back to the mansion as he grew further and further away.

I could see it then by the gate when I opened the door. See myself a few weeks ago, still pregnant, as I sadly gazed at his disappearing form.

I had to quickly shake away the thoughts. Kaname moved at the motion and fussing at being interrupted, his face scrunching slightly. I smiled down at his opening eyes, his gaze slicing through mine with an innocent gleam shining within.

He's so cute I can't stand it and hug him tightly to my chest. It's never enough as I gaze down at the sweet boy. I'm glad he won't be raised in this mansion and be growing up an entirely different way.

I walk quicker through the crunched up grass. It's still dead from the winters snow fall, but soon it will bloom and brighten into that lovely shade of green. I smile at the thought that I won't be here to witness it. My blue kimono is dull as I shuffle towards the gate, cooing to Kaname to keep up the appearances. He would come for me. He promised. My heart can't help but shatter a bit when I see he's not there yet. He's just late, that's all. I hold Kaname tighter, keeping my grip firm as I try not to crush his small body. He's so fragile in my arms. I have to protect him from everything here.

The sun shines from behind large clouds littering the sky. They sway here and there, the sun shining through every now and then, eagerly happy to send its warmth for spring. I smile and look back at the child, then at the gate, worry creasing my brow as the day proceeds on.

Longer and longer, it goes on, the clouds eventually passing and nothing but sun shining down on me. Kaname squirms in my grasp and makes a noise, to which I quickly feed him. My kimono is easy to access so that I can feed him with ease, and he gladly clings to my chest to drink the milk I have. I find it odd and fascinating how my body works, producing food for my child so that he can get his nourishment. It's so strange.

I tried to focus on my surroundings; the trees, the sky, the ground, anything. Anything but the fact that it was no evening and he still hasn't come for me. I shift on my feet, our child growing restless. I bounce him gently to keep him calm but eventually that doesn't work. I hear someone approach from behind and turn, seeing my mother standing there with a strange expression. Moving simply by mechanics I slip the earrings from my child blanket quickly and stash them in my kimono. My eyebrows scrunch further in thought. I had expected to be gone by now. To be away from this place, so seeing my mother standing there takes me a moment to process before I finally decide on something. He…he had left. That's what mother had meant by earlier words. But- no, no! He'll come back for me – He told me so – he just forgot! He thinks its tomorrow and I sigh happily, my hectic mind pacified for the moment and barely registering my mother telling me it's time to come in.

She says nothing on my odd behavior, she simply comments that I've been very much outdoorsy lately and tells me not to wander off. I hug Kaname to my chest again and rub his back before mother finally takes him from me.

I don't want him in those arms. Their cold and give no love or warmth, but I am far too tired to protest as I proceed into the mansion. I just want sleep. I just want to see him.

He'll come for me tomorrow.

Tomorrow, I'm absolutely sure.

'_Tomorrow.'_


End file.
